Email: gypsi_1angel@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Summary: summaries aren't my best thing, so just read it ;)
Note: It's been a long time since I've written anything, so please be kind =) The changes should be pretty obvious; No Tara except maybe a friend and the other changes will be obvious as they happen lol Please let me know what you think, even if it sucks
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*~ "God, Will, don't hate me for what I was. Please, I've changed. I swear-"
*~ "No, you can't just say..." the small redhead gave a frustrated growl and shook her head. "I'm not ready for this conversation yet, Oz."
*~ "When will you be? It's been a month and you're still putting me off. I love you, and I'm sorry for what happened. Please don't hold all that stuff against me, babe." The former love of her life leaned over and took her hands in his, then frowned as she pulled them away again. "Please, I swear I'm not the same person I was."
*~ "You can't just change in a month, Oz. I know you're doing better. I know you're staying away from the parties and stuff. But I can't open myself up to that again. Not yet."
*~ It had been exactly thirty days since she and the musician broke up after one of their nastier fights. Most people watching from the outside never knew that the couple even raised their voices, let alone fought. They were very good at hiding it. Or Willow was good at hiding it and Oz was good at pretending nothing was wrong. In his eyes there hadn't been anything wrong. He'd been too into the party scene to really care what his girl was really feeling.
*~ They'd been together for four years by the time the little redhead decided she'd had enough. The others didn't really know what was going on, or if they did they deluded themselves into thinking things would get better. Or in Xander's case, was scared to alienate his best friend.
*~ In high school things had been good for both of them, their relationship being very close and loving. Then came college and the two moved in together in an off-campus apartment. While Willow still worshipped the ground Oz walked on, the werewolf started resenting the 'clingy' girlfriend. He started hanging out with the guys more and spending less time with her. His attitude started shifting towards the negative. The drinking started, then the fights.
*~ Sometimes they would fight for hours over something stupid, ending with Willow in tears and apologizing even though she wasn't the one that started it. She was suddenly not good enough to please him in anything. The sex was boring, she spent too much time with the gang and not enough time with him, the house was dirty, she didn't talk to him right in front of his friends. She wasn't pretty enough. She didn't dress the right way.
*~ The parties made their way to their place while Willow was helping Buffy and Giles, winding down just in time for the redheaded witch to clean up before going to classes on just a couple hours of sleep. Within another year and a half, the poor girl was so deep into depression she was about to walk off a bridge.
*~ The only reason she hadn't was because a certain blonde vampire stepped in just in time. He'd opened her eyes to a lot of things, but she'd still stubbornly refused to see what was right in front of her eyes. She blamed herself for everything that happened between her and Oz. She genuinely believed that it was her fault.
*~ But Spike didn't let up. Surprisingly, he wasn't too pushy about it. He was just there to listen to her when things got too bad. And when Oz finally took it too far and picked a fight in the middle of the day, right in the middle of the commons area on campus, Spike was the one who was there to take her away from the entire mess.
*~ She had never been so humiliated in her entire life. Up until that point, no one had ever really seen how Oz treated her. No one that mattered anyway. But standing there in the middle of all those people, he'd succeeded in humiliating her beyond reason. All she could do was keep asking him not to yell at her so loud, that everyone was watching. He hadn't cared, going as far as to reach out to grab her arm hard enough to bruise.
*~ It had finally reached the next stage. As his hand started towards her face in an open-handed slap, she knew she'd had enough. One of the bigger jocks had stepped in, pushing the smaller man away from Willow, who was sobbing openly now. She hadn't paused or looked back at the shouting behind her as she ran.
*~ She instinctively ran to the only place she really felt safe. Straight to the small apartment she'd helped Spike rent a few months earlier. He'd taken one look at her red, tear-stained face and drew her into his arms. He'd held her for hours that day and listened to her rant and cry. And he'd quietly vowed to have the werewolf's hide framed for his wall.
*~ Spike had gone with her to get her things from the apartment that night and had offered her a place to stay. A week went by without any sign of Oz, and Willow had started to breathe easy again. She went back to school, still humiliated by the pitying looks sent her way. But like the stubborn sprite she was, she kept going. Another week went by.
*~ That Friday as she was leaving her last class she ran into the person she least wanted to see. He told her he was sorry for what happened and that he realized how he'd been acting. That he realized now that he'd been a jerk. And he'd told her he wanted her back.
*~ Looking at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes, she'd wanted to take him back. But remembering the sting of his hand across her face stopped that thought before it even really started. She told him they needed time apart for both of them to get over what happened. That she needed to heal, and that he needed to change a lot of things in his life before they could ever be together. If they ever could.
*~ Looking back, she should have just told him to get lost. It would have been better for both of them. He'd started coming around at least once a week, telling her how much he missed her. That he loved her and telling her how much he'd changed.
*~ And that brought them back to this moment, where she was forced to finally tell him it was never going to happen. "Please, please, Will! Listen to me, I'm not the same person I was," he told her now, moving off the park bench to kneel down in front of her, his hands reaching for hers one more time. "I need you."
*~ Willow shook her head, fighting frustrated tears. "No, you don't." She got to her feet and walked a couple feet away. "You don't need me, Oz. I can't keep going through this conversation over and over again. I can't go back to what we were before. You don't even remember half of what you put me through."
*~ "I'm sober now- we can start over-"
*~ "No," she shook her head, her red hair falling across her forehead. "No, we can't start over. I can't go back-... Damnit, I'm not going to keep repeating myself, Oz. If you can't accept that I'm not ready to discuss our future then you're going to lose me completely. Are you willing to lose me as a friend?"
*~ She hated this. She still loved him, but it was fading. If he could just leave her alone, she could really start to think. Whenever he came around it was like nothing had changed. She went back to thinking that maybe she was wrong in making him wait. That he really did need her. Then reality set back in and all she wanted to do was run away.
*~ "No. No, I'm not willing to lose you as a friend," Oz sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I love you, Willow. I really, really love you. And I'll do anything to get you back. I'm just scared to let too much distance go between us. I know you. You're building walls around your feelings- letting other people talk you into something you don't really want."
*~ That hit a nerve. Her resolve kicked back in with a vengance. That just proved that things hadn't changed as much as he'd said. "Stop it right there, Oz. No one is talking me into anything. He- they're just reminding me of how awful it was. How hard it was to be the fucking slave to a drunk."
*~ "He? What, you're already fucking someone else?" Oz's lip curled up in disgust. "Is that why you're being so stubborn about us getting back together? You just want to move on to someone else? You just want me out of the picture so you can move on with your life."
*~ Willow stood there, shocked as his personality took a complete turn around. There for a while, she thought he was really turning back into the quiet werewolf guitar player she'd fallen in love with a long time ago. "You just proved him right, Daniel Ozborne," she told him, crossing her arms over her chest. She shook her head. "And here I was starting to think that there was something left to salvage. I'm out of here."
*~ For the first time in a long time, Willow felt a burden lifted off her shoulders. She turned to walk away, shaking her head. Spike was right. She made it exactly five steps before she was jerked around so hard her neck cracked.
*~ "You aren't going anywhere." She'd only seen his eyes like this right before locking him in his cage for the full moon. The iris had bled to black, completely taking over the whites of his eyes. His voice was a low growl and her heart started beating faster in fear. "You're mine, and you're *not* going to-"
*~ "Oh, I believe she is," another voice cut into the night air and Willow's knees almost buckled with relief. Spike. He was standing just barely out of the shadows, his hands fisted at his sides. "And I believe she's going to come home with me. And you're going to go the bloody fuck away."
*~ "You can't stop me, Fangless. Remember?" Oz taunted, grabbing Willow by the hair. He jerked her down so that she was kneeling beside him. "She's my bitch, and she's not going anywhere."
*~ "You forgot something, mate," Spike smirked, flicking his cigarette to the grass. "You're not exactly human."
*~ The vampire didn't even give him a chance to react before charging. He hit him with enough force to crack the stone bench he and Willow had been sitting on just moments before. Willow scrambled to her feet, screaming as Oz took a swipe at Spike, leaving a bloody tear across the midsection of his t-shirt.
*~ "No! Stop!" In her panic, the witch unconsciously hit the werewolf with a stunning spell, knocking him back into a tree with enough impact to knock him out. She fell to her knees, sobbing, her hand over her mouth as she fought not to be sick.
*~ "Pet, are you all right," Spike knelt down in front of her and gathered her into his arms.
*~ "I-I'm sorry," was all the trembling redhead could offer, burying her face in his chest. "I'm so, so sorry."
*~ "None of that, pet." Spike stroked her hair back and kissed her forehead before pulling her to her feet. "We need to get out of here before wolfie wakes up. Not that I don't want to take a chunk out of his hide, but you don't need to see it."
*~ Willow nodded, but leaned on him heavily as they walked back towards his apartment. She was exhausted, emotionally and physically. Spike didn't let go of her even to unlock his door, doing it one-handed. Once inside he relocked the door and moved straight into her bedroom.
*~ He pulled her sweatshirt off, leaving her t-shirt on underneath, then lowered her to sit down on the bed. She was in a state of shock, not even blinking when he knelt down to take off her shoes and socks. When he looked back up at her, he found her green eyes brimming with tears.
*~ "No, sweets," he whispered, reaching up to catch the first one as it fell. "No more of that." But she couldn't help it and more came. He pulled her into the bed and cradled her tight to his chest as she gave in and cried. She never remembered falling asleep.
~Part: 2~
*~ She woke up slowly, feeling strong arms around her. At first, she snuggled deeper, inhaling the scent of leather and a spicy type of cologne. It felt good, to be so peaceful and to know she was protected. Then reality sunk in and she realized Oz wasn't the one holding her. Oz had tried to... Spike.
*~ "S-Spike?" The arms moved, tightening around her gently.
*~ "Yeah, luv?" She shivered as his breath tickled the skin of her ear. She never wanted to move. Tears prickled at her eyes and she felt like her heart were breaking all over again. She wanted to stay right here forever. There was no Oz and no fighting. Only Spike and his wonderful arms, keeping her safe. She remembered what happened the night before and the tears turned into sobs.
*~ Spike didn't say another word, just turned her so she was against his chest and held her. "Why did he hate me that much," she whispered against the material of his shirt. "W-why, Spike?"
*~ "He didn't hate you, sweets," the blonde vampire rubbed her back in soothing circles. If his sire could see him now. He'd probably rip him away from the little witch and stake him for even daring to touch her. But there was something there between him and the redhead. He genuinely cared about her. Not like that disgusting display between him and the slayer a couple months ago. No, this wasn't unhealthy obsession. This went deeper.
*~ He wanted to kill the wolf for what he'd put her through. He wanted to rip his throat out and decorate the trees with his intestines. He wanted to make him hurt for hurting her. But that wasn't what scared the vampire; he should feel like that, he was a vampire for God's sake. What scared him was this right here, holding the sobbing girl and giving her comfort. He loved her.
*~ "He didn't hate you, Red," he continued, whispering against her hair. "He was thinking more like his beast last night than he was with his human side."
*~ "No- not that," Willow relaxed her head against his chest, snuggling a little closer. She sighed and tightened her arms around him. "Why did he treat me like a slave and sleep with other girls. And... And why did he..."
*~ "I don't know, sweets." It was the truth. If she was his, he would do everything in his power provide whatever she waned. He would dote on her and love her. He would burn the world for her. He would keep her with him forever.
*~ "Forever?" the whispered question made him realize with a start that he'd been speaking out loud. She raised up and looked down at him with huge green eyes.
*~ He didn't dare deny her, not when she was looking at him with such hope. He knew she didn't love him completely. Not yet. But right now, she was looking at him like he was the most important thing in her life. "Forever, luv."
*~ She searched his face, apparently finding what she was looking for. "Last night, I realized I haven't loved him in a long time," she told him softly, running her fingers down the side of his face. "When you stepped in and-" tears welled up again and he reached up to kiss them away. "And then I realized why. When he was doing all those cruel things to me, you were right there to catch me when I finally ran. You knew I couldn't take much more."
*~ "I don't-" He started but her finger on his lips stopped him.
*~ "You're not a replacement, Spike," she said, smiling. "I think Oz was a replacement for you. I stayed with him because I was scared to be alone. I put up with everything so long because I thought there was no way anyone else could love me. That you couldn't love me. Even though he didn't really love me at all. If that makes any sense."
*~ "Now don't make me go out there and rip him apart, luv," Spike threatened, his eyes flashing amber. "A lot of people love you. Hell, my own sire would give his legs to be near you. I love you."
*~ "I know," she whispered, then leaned down to kiss him softly. "I wish things were different. He hurt me, bad. It's going to take a while for me to get over it."
*~ "I'll be with you, Will," he stroked her hair away from her face. It scared him, but he meant it. He'd done it before with Drucilla, and he would again with her. He must have a curse of his own, a demon with the ability to love. He shouldn't feel like this toward a human. Not without a soul. But she smiled at him and he was lost.
*~ She leaned down and kissed him, running her tounge across his lips before he opened up and let her in. She didn't know what was going to happen tomorrow, or the next. But she knew that right now he was with her and no one could hurt her.
*~ He pulled her under him and covered her with his body. "We don't have to, luv, if you're not ready. If it's too soon-" She cut him off with another deep kiss. And there wasn't anymore talking.
END! =)