Rating: 13 + Since this series takes place in Buffy S1 and S2, and most of the players are about 16 years old, I'm keeping this clean. There is a definite A/S relationship, and a hint of S/W.
Disclaimer: I don't own BtVs or Angel characters. Joss Whedon, David Greenwald, Mutant Enemy and the WB...all rights. No infringement intended.
Author's Note: This fic follows the S2 BTVS episode, 'Bad Eggs.' It makes more sense if you're familiar with that epp. Also, spoilers for S2 'Ted.'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
January 10, 1998
“I hate my life! Buffy griped, as she and Spike crossed the street to the Sunnydale cemetery. It was the first stop on their nightly patrol “My Christmas vacation was ruined compliments of Penn and the Order of Taraka, and now my mother has a new boyfriend, who is a total nut-job.”
“Nut-job?” Spike’s forehead creased in confusion. “Just yesterday, Xander was singing high praise about Teddy boy. Kept going on about mini pizzas and chocolate chip biscuits”
“Xander thinks with every body part except his brain,” Buffy said stomping her feet. “I’m telling you there’s something wrong with the guy. He needs to be investigated. We should have your dad meet him, because I’m betting that he’ll catch a wiff of demon, or mutant, or, or alien on him.”
“The old man still isn’t feeling real chipper,” Spike replied, as he scanned the graveyard. “I guess being forced into a cure-your-Childe ritual takes a lot out of a demon because I’ve never seen him this unwell.”
“Well, that sucks majorly,” Buffy sympathized, as her head turned sharply at the sound of twigs snapping, but it was only the wind.
“Yeah, but on the plus side. . . .” Spike’s grin was that of a typical teen, who knew that the cat was away, or in Angel’s case, too sick to properly supervise his son. “He sleeps a lot, so I can basically do what I want without old killjoy stopping me.”
Pausing for a moment, Buffy pulled a wooden stake out, just as a group of vampires appeared from behind a crypt. “Well, at least one of us doesn’t have a parent breathing down our neck. My mom has been on my back constantly: Buffy be nice to Ted; Buffy eat your dinner because Ted made it; Buffy don’t be sarcastic when you’re talking about Ted. I hate my life,” she repeated, as she ran toward the vampires, stake raised.
“Right, luv.” Spike nodded in agreement, as he followed her into battle.
**
January 12, 1998
Health class was finally over, marking the end of another day at Sunnydale High.
“Another Monday down. . .” Xander cut in front of Willow to open the library doors with a flourish. “And only eighteen more Mondays to go. I counted them today in chem class.”
“Uh huh.” Willow gave Xander a scolding look, as she passed through the library doors. “Not the most productive use of your time. Hi, Buffy.” She smiled in greeting, as she spied Buffy at the card catalog. “How come you weren’t in class?”
“Vampire issues.” Buffy looked up from the card catalog, thankful for the interruption. “Did Mr. Whitmore notice I was tardy?”
“I think,” Xander said as he and Willow stepped over to where Buffy was working, “the word you're searching for is absent.”
“Yeah, tardy people show,” Willow added, nodding her head. “And, yes, he did notice, so he wanted me to give you this.” She handed Buffy an egg.
Rolling the egg around her hands, Buffy stared at it confused. “As far as punishments go this is fairly abstract.”
“No, it's your baby.” Willow explained.
“O-kay.” Buffy was even more confused. “I get it even less.”
“It's, you know, the whole sex leads to responsibility thing, which I personally don't get. You gotta take care of the egg like it’s your baby,” Xander clarified. “You gotta keep it safe and teach it Christian values.”
“My egg is Jewish.” Willow corrected Xander.
“Then teach it that Dreidel song.” Xander was quick with the comeback, causing Willow to smile.
“I can't do this!” Buffy was horrified at the health teacher’s assignment. “I can't take care of things! I killed my Giga Pet, literally. I sat on it and it broke.” Putting the egg down, she paced over to a book cart.
“You'll do fine.” Willow was quick to reassure.
“Yeah, but the only thing that stresses me is, when do we tell them that they're adopted?” Xander asked.
“Oh, I'll just lay that one off on my partner. Wait a minute.” A worrisome thought struck Buffy. “Who'd I get?”
“Oh, that’s the good news,” Willow smiled widely. “Spike was a no-show, and since you were a no-show, well, Mr. Whitmore put the two no-shows together.”
“Spike is the father of my egg?” Buffy had mixed feelings about that fact. On the one hand, even she had to admit that Spike was a foxy enough guy, but mostly, her feelings for him were of the sisterly kind. Being paired with him as parents smacked of incest which made her feel squirky. “And just why was he a no-show in health class?”
Both Xander and Willow shrugged, just as Giles popped out of the library cage, book in hand, exclaiming, “Success! At last. Your playmate from the mall last night is a fellow of repute, it seems.” Setting his book down, he barely missed smashing Buffy’s egg by the hair of the Slayer’s quick reflexes. “See.” He pointed to a picture in the book. “That's, um, Lyle Gorch, and that one's his brother, Tector. They're from Abilene. They, uh, they made their reputation by massacring an entire Mexican village in 1886.”
“Friendly little demons.” Buffy glanced over the picture of Gorch and Tector.
“That was before they became vampires,” Giles said gravely, causing the three teenagers to exchange looks. “B-but, um, the good news is that they're... not amongst the great thinkers of our times. I doubt if they're up to much. They're probably just drawn here by the, uh, Hellmouth's energy.”
“ 'Nuff said!” Xander raised his hand. “I propose Buffy slays 'em. All in favor, say aye.”
“I-I don't think you should underestimate them.” Giles sighed in exasperation, just as Willow was raising her hand and repeating aye. It never failed to amaze him how Buffy and her friends treated slaying vampires and demons so lightly. “Perhaps, you can recruit Spike, or, or even Angel to help you find the Gorches. Strength in numbers.”
“Fine.” Buffy looked around for something to put her egg in. “I’ll go find the bleached wonder. I can tell him about our health assignment.” She held up the egg before gently placing it into a small basket. “And get him to help me find the Gorches.”
**
“Spike’s not with you?” Standing in the doorway, careful not to let any sunlight in, Whistler scratched his nose in puzzlement. “Because he specifically told me this morning that after school he was going to be working on a school project with you.”
“School project. . .right. . .of course.” Caught off guard, Buffy stuttered and stammered. “I-I. . .yes, I’m supposed to meet him at the Bronze to work on it, but I-I kind of. . . .” She paused, taking a deep breath, silently cursing Spike ten different ways for using her in a lie and not telling her about it. “Had a brain lapse and came here instead, so I-I better get to the Bronze.” Turning quickly, she began walking at a fast pace toward the Bronze and away from the apartment. The last person she wanted to meet at this moment was Angel. Lying to the former Scourge of Europe was tough even for a Slayer.
It was a mere fifteen minutes later that Buffy reached the Bronze, and a mere fifteen and one-half minutes later that she tracked down Spike, who was at the pool table, pool stick in one hand, beer in the other.
“Spike!” she yelled out, as she elbowed her way toward him. “Spike, you idiot.” Arms full with books and her baby egg, she could only give him a kick in the shin. But despite the rather girly movement, she did put her slayer strength behind it.
“Ow!” Dropping the pool stick, Spike began hopping up and down, while grabbing his foot. “Bloody hell! What the fuck’s wrong with you?”
“Skipping school and then telling Whistler and your dad that you would be doing a school project with me! So there I am, looking like a fool, and trying to quickly cover your dumb ass.”
“You went to my flat?” Spike was horrified. “And what did you tell him?”
“I high-tailed it out of there before I was made to make any explanations to your dad, but I’m telling you, Whistler did not look too convinced. And why didn’t you let me know what you were planning?” Buffy slammed down her books, book bag, and basket with egg down at a nearby table.
“Fucking ’ell!” Spike quietly cursed under his breath, as he picked up his pool stick. “I’m in the shit now.”
“Well duh, except. . . .” The egg from health class caught Buffy’s eye. “There really is a school project that you and I have to work on together.”
“Really?” Spike’s tone turned hopeful. “What?”
“Health class, Mr. Whitmore, sex leads to responsibility project,” she listed off, as she pointed to the egg. “Say hi to your, our baby.”
Spike stared at the egg a moment before saying, “my Sire will be so proud.”
**
“So what do you think?” Buffy whispered to Spike, as the two walked out of her front door after having eaten dinner with Buffy’s mom and new boyfriend, Ted. “Did you sense anything off about him?”
“Dunno.” Spike shrugged, as he couldn’t help but look back at the house. “I could swear that ol’ Teddy doesn’t have any kind of odor to him.”
“Any kind of odor?” Buffy repeated, not understanding at first. “But if he’s human then there should be something to smell, right?”
“Yeah, but demons have odors too, so. . . .” Spike trailed off, shrugging. “Not sure what it means if there is no odor. Course, maybe I’m not doing something right.” He exchanged looks with Buffy, as the two made a left turn out of her front yard.
“How can you not smell right?”
“Not sure.” Spike wrapped his arms around himself. “My Sire keeps on about me using my nose, that I should be able to detect things through different odors and such. Says that I have heightened sensory powers, and that I only need to develop them, but to be honest, my senses seem pretty ordinary to me.”
“Hmm.” Buffy was thoughtful. “He starting to sound an awful lot like Giles, always nagging about how I need to work on improving my slayer skills. How does he think I can find time for that with school, homework, and all the vampire/demons slayings I’m expected to do? And what about my social life?”
The two exchanged another look.
“Bloody adults,” Spike muttered. “None of them remember what it’s like to have a social life.”
“Yeah,” Buffy concurred, as she took Spike’s arm, feeling content that she had a friend, who could totally relate to her. “Let’s make a concentrated effort on finding the Gorches, and working on our baby eggbert. After that we can go back to your place and truthfully tell your dad all about the health class project we toiled hard on this evening. Then both he and Giles will be happy.”
“Right then.” Spike was in agreement. “And no tattling about my not making to classes today.”
“Agreed,” Buffy said with a smile. “And maybe tomorrow, we can arrange a meeting between your dad and Ted. See what he can sniff out.”
**
January 13, 1998
It wasn’t until lunch period that Buffy was able to cross paths with Spike. Finding him and Xander outside, enjoying the cool, but not too cold southern California winter weather. “Hey,” she greeted the two of them.
“Hey, Buff,” Xander greeted her back, as he munched on a candy bar.
“Well, I’ve got bad news and even badder news.” She plopped herself down next to Spike, who was busily stuffing a couple of twinkies in his mouth. “First our little eggbert, well he’s or she isn’t just a little eggbert; it is, was some creepy-crawly thing that attacked me last night. I killed it with a scissors.”
“Jesus, Slayer!” Spike quickly swallowed the last of his twinkies. “If you killed our egg, that means an F on the project! I’m already grounded for the rest of this month. With a failing grade, my Sire will ground me until the next century.”
“Figured out about you skipping school yesterday, didn’t he?” Buffy asked sympathetically.
“Yeah,” Spike said moodily. “The Old Boy must have participated in the Spanish Inquisition, cos he sure knows how to make a person confess.”
“Don’t feel bad. I’ve been grounded for the rest of my natural life. Made a ruckus when I killed little eggbert, and my mom caught me with my clothes on and realized I had been out. I’m supposed to go to the library after school and wait for her there.”
“You’ll have company, cause I’ll be there too, waiting for him to come for me.”
“Great, the two of us can be miserable togeth. . . .”
A scream from Xander cut Buffy off, as he suddenly threw the egg he was about to put in his mouth on the ground. “Ekk. Uck! Ugg!” He frantically wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “And what the hell is that?”
Lying a couple feet from them was his health class egg, shell cracked open with a dead purplish-gray creature inside.
“Xander, is that your egg from class?” Buffy asked, staring at the deceased hatchling.
Both Buffy and Spike turned to Xander, who nodded his head.
“Bloody hell!” Spike put two and two together. “You boiled your young!”
**
“Ow!”
“Fucking ‘hell!”
“The light. Where’s the light?”
More moans and groans as Buffy felt around for the light switch.
Blinking his eyes as suddenly the school’s utility closet went from pitch darkness to bright light, Xander could only mutter, “the last time Cordy dragged me in here it was a lot nicer.”
“What?” Buffy and Spike asked in unison, as they turned to stare at Xander.
“Uh. . . .” Xander shook his head, trying to regain his senses. “Nothing. Uh, crazy talk. Head trauma. And what the hell's goin' on? Cordy, Willow, and Giles? They bashed us in the heads!”
“Something to do with the hatchlings, I'm sure,” Buffy said as helped Xander to his feet.
“What? Are they possessed?” Xander rubbed the lump on the back of his head.
“I don't know. But they sure wanted us out of the way.” Buffy looked around the closet, while Spike discovered that the door was locked.
“So, why not kill us? Why drag us in here?” Xander was still reeling from being hit on the head, and also with the knowledge that it was Willow and Cordelia who were the ones doing the hitting.
“I’m guessing. . . .” Buffy pointed to three eggs on the floor, just as Spike gave the utility closet’s door one good kick.
“Let’s get the hell out of here.” Xander pushed his way past both Buffy and Spike.
“Okay, okay.” Out in the school corridor, Buffy was now desperately trying to come up with a plan. “Spike, you go and get your dad, and Xander and I will, will. . .try and figure out what exactly we’re fighting.”
“A bezoar,” Spike immediately answered.
“A what? A bozo?” Buffy asked, as the three began trotting to the school library.
“A bez-o-ar,” Spike enunciated slowly. “That’s what Willow said right before she bashed us.”
“A bez-o-ar,” Buffy repeated. “So I guess we should look that up in a book or something.”
“Or something.” Spike said, as they rounded the corner and run right smack into Angel.
“William!” Still not fully recovered from the ritual Penn forced on him, Angel was not in a good mood. “Did I not tell you to wait for me in the library? And here you are. . . .” He glared over at Buffy. “Fooling around with the Slayer again.”
“We’ve got a bezoar in the school.” Buffy told him hastily. “And its, like, possessed Willow, Cordy, Giles and. . . .”
“What?” Angel’s first thought was that his Childe and the Slayer were pulling one over on him, but before he could roll that idea over in his head, shouting was suddenly heard.
“Get this thing off me! Get this. . .somebody help me! Help!”
Spinning around, Angel began running toward the screams with the three teens right behind him. Rounding another he corner, he spied a young man falling to the floor. By the time he reached a one, Jonathan Levinson (identity given to him courtesy of the children), the young man had risen and with the expressionless air of the possessed, told them, “I slipped.”
“Hang on,” Angel ordered, as he watched Jonathan shuffle down the hallway. “He’s being controlled by neural clamping. We’ll follow him; he’ll lead us to the mother bezoar.”
Buffy, Spike, and Xander all exchanged huh looks, as Xander raised his hand and asked, “neural clamping?”
**
Epilogue
“And until further notice you are confined to your room. You will not leave your room at any time except to go to school or the bathroom. Am I making myself clear?”
“Clear. I won't leave my room.” Buffy answered her mother with a sigh of frustration. Being punished unjustly, when all she had done was save the world again.
“Mum, still angry?” Spike spoke softly behind her, as Joyce Summers walked angrily away. He wiped the sweat off his forehead; it had been hard work defending oneself against a mob of your peers, fighting the Gorche brothers, and a mother bezoar.
“Yep.” Buffy shook her head sadly. “I’m not only grounded, but now I’m restricted to my room except for school and the bathroom. She says it because I wasn’t in the library when she got here, but jeez, there was a gas leak.”
“Well, you’ve got company,” Spike commiserated. “Since I wasn’t in the library, my Sire grounded me for another month! But I was bloody well knocked out by Willow and Cordy. How is that my fault?”
“Parents!” Buffy could only shake her head again. “They are so unfair, and I really hate my life!”
“I’m right there with you luv.”
****
Finis