Runaways

Authors: angelspike69 and anamcara420

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~Part: 6~

Spike tried to hurry across the frozen ground but his heart was too heavy. All of the wretched memories of his previous life reminded him of what he had just thrown away. His tear-streaked face burned with the windy cold as he trudged slowly toward Mrs. Jenkins’ barn. She rarely used the building and he thought he could hide there until nightfall and then somehow get into Burlington.

He stealthily approached the barn from the woods and carefully opened the back door, thinking once again of the trusting nature of the people on this island. They never locked their doors! Of course doors weren’t always locked in the many places he lived with his mother, but that was usually because the residents were too drunk or drugged to remember. Spike put his pillowcase in one of the back stalls and searched for a blanket or some sort of covering. He saw a rickety ladder that led up toward the roof of the barn and climbed up. It was a small room with unidentifiable shapes hidden under tarps. He lifted a corner of one of the coverings and discovered a narrow iron bed, heaped with wooden boxes and covered with an old quilt. He sighed in relief. He took off the other tarps and found a chest, a trunk and a dilapidated soft chair. Someone had obviously lived here, perhaps a handyman. He removed the filthy, raggedy coverlet and lifted the boxes onto the floor. When he shook the quilt, dust flew into the air, making him sneeze loudly. He froze for a few minutes but then relaxed. Mrs. Jenkins wouldn’t be up this early.

Spike had not slept at all the night before. He lay down on the sagging, dirty mattress and pulled the quilt around him. He was asleep within minutes.

Liam awoke with a stiff neck. The tension caused by Spike’s anger and silence had settled into his muscles. Sleeping on the soft air mattress didn’t help. He missed his huge, semi-hard bed. He glanced at the closed bedroom door and bit his lip. He saw me talking with Tom. He must know that I learned about his past and thinks I’ll throw him out. Liam got up and put the kettle on and then walked over to listen at the bedroom door. There were no soft sleep sounds. He probably lay awake for hours worrying. Why wouldn’t he talk to me? I know we could have figured something out. I know it had to be self-defense. What a terrible life he had. I hate thinking of him with…with all those men.

Bella and Mac followed his footsteps and he put out their food. Mac looked at Liam and then at his food and turned away and flopped in front of the unlit fireplace. If he had been human, he would have looked desolate. Bella wove herself through his legs and then sat at his feet and meowed plaintively. “Hey, guys. What’s the matter?”

He made tea; he wasn’t hungry. He took the mug into the bathroom and showered and dressed in clothes he had left in the laundry closet. He was walking back to the living area when he heard the crunch of tires. Smiling, despite his disquiet, he hurried to open the door.

“Hey, Liam. Give me a hand with this?” John asked.

The two men carried the boxes into the house. Liam had ordered a computer and it had arrived at John’s store the day before Thanksgiving. He decided to wait until after the holiday to set it up. He was excited. He had had a computer in New York but sold everything when he left. Now, he would be able to scan his furniture drawings into the hard drive and save them, eliminating the need for countless sketchbooks. He could also advertise a little and keep his costs and bills straight. He knew there were graphic programs; David had had several on his computer. Liam had decided to buy some of the programs for Spike for Christmas in addition to other art supplies. He’ll believe that I want him to stay when he sees his gifts. He needs to have a better life than he’s had. He needs to forget…forget his life on the streets.

John and Liam emptied the boxes and began to set things up on a huge library desk Liam had bought from Mrs. Jenkins. They talked and laughed while they struggled a bit with the equipment. Suddenly Liam stopped laughing. His face paled and he cocked his head to listen.

“What, Liam?” John asked.

Liam hurried toward the bedroom door. “Spike should have awakened with all the noise we were making.” He opened the door and walked into an empty room. He searched the closet and pulled down the ladder to the attic. Spike was nowhere.

John had followed his friend into the room and he saw the frightened look on Liam’s face.

“He saw me talking to Tom at Thanksgiving. He must have known what he was telling me. He's a runaway with a police record.”

“Is it bad?”

“Shoplifting and simple assault. Spike claimed it was self-defense, but he ran away before the trial.”

John stared at Liam’s face. Suddenly, all the light had gone out of his eyes; his skin was white and taut. Liam brightened; hope bloomed on his face. “Maybe he’s in the barn. He’s been working on a footstool for Mrs. Jenkins.”

The woodsmith opened the door and ran out to the barn, without his coat, despite the biting wind. He pulled open the door and shouted. “Spike. Spike. Are you in here?”

There was no answer. John followed him out and Mac darted by him to run to Liam. He barked and stopped; he looked up at his master. John handed Liam his coat. “Do you think he ran away again? I thought…he seemed fine when he was at our house yesterday.”

“It has to be because he saw me talking to the sheriff, John. It’s so cold and he’s so thin and still a bit weak.” Liam answered. The dog whined and barked as he ran a little way ahead. Liam looked excitedly at John. “Mac can find him. Come on boy, find Spike.”

The dog sniffed a frozen footprint and raced in the direction of Mrs. Jenkins’ property. Liam ran after him; he tried to keep up as he stumbled over logs and mounds of frosted leaves.

John sadly watched his friend. Damn, he was coming out of whatever made him so distant with everyone. Spike made him laugh. Shit. That damn kid better not…God I hope nothing’s happened to him. John spun around and sprinted to his truck. He climbed in and called the sheriff and Doc Clayton on his cell-phone to tell them that Spike might be missing. He started the truck and drove as quickly as he dared to Mrs. Jenkins’.

Liam heard Mac bark as he drew closer to the old woman’s home. He lost the footprints in the tall brown grasses on the edge of the property. Mac stood near the barn; he barked and pranced as he tried to get Liam to follow him. Mrs. Jenkins opened her back door and called out. “Hello, Liam; I didn’t hear your truck. Is something wrong?”

“Spike’s missing. Mac might have found him in your barn.” He spoke over his shoulder as he hurried to join his dog.

The old woman’s heart clenched. Oh dear. Please let the boy be all right.

Liam walked toward the barn quickly. He struggled to pull open the large door and his heart sank. It was obvious that it hadn’t been opened in a while, but Mac hadn't stopped barking. As soon as Liam opened the door, the dog bolted inside, stood still and sniffed the air. There had to be countless smells in the ancient building. He barked and danced over to a ladder leading up to a loft. The dog whined as if telling Liam to hurry.

“Good boy. Is Spike here?” Liam whispered as he scratched the dog’s head. Mac barked as if in answer to his question. Liam slowly climbed the ladder up to the loft. He stopped and looked into the rather dusty space and saw footprints. He cast his eyes around the room and saw the bed, the chest and the chair, and but no Spike.

“Spike. Spike. Are you here? It’s me, Liam.”

There was movement to his right and Spike emerged from behind a door, his pallid face streaked with dirt; his body shivering despite the warm coat that Liam had bought for him.

Liam bounded into the loft, ran over to the younger man and lifted him up into a hug. “I was so worried.” He murmured into Spike’s hair. He realized that Spike’s body was stiff in his arms and he quickly put him down. He looked into Spike’s face but the runaway kept his eyes averted. “Sorry. I…I...” Liam lifted Spike’s chin and forced the younger man to look at him. “I’m not sorry I hugged you. Damnit Spike. Why did you leave? Please…tell me.”

Spike’s piercing blue eyes glittered with tears in his thin, pinched face. He thrust himself away from the older man and spun around glaring in fury, his lips curled into an ugly snarl. “What’d the cop tell you? I’m a criminal, yeah? Got a bloody record. Hurt someone. Ran away before they could put me jail.”

Tears began to stream from his eyes as Spike stared at Liam, his hands tightly clenched. “Didn’t tell you the guy was me mum’s fucking dealer. Wanted to try me out. See how much heroin my ass was worth. She fuckin’ sold me to him for drugs.”

Liam gasped and his eyes widened. Spike laughed but there was no joy in it. “Yeah, not your world is it, ponce? Wanna hear it all, Liam? Me Dad threw me out. I was sixteen. His twenty-year-old wife decided to “teach” me how to fuck and he caught us. Got off the sodding plane from England and was raped in the house where me mum lived with other fucking tarts and drug dealers. Didn’t even unpack and some john was already up my ass. Me mum was strung out in another room. She didn’t even know I was there.” Liam moved toward him and Spike stepped back, enraged.

“You ain’t heard it all git. Never went to school in California. Me mum pimped me out to buy her drugs. Everyone wanted me. I was so pretty, so soft.” Spike’s face twisted with rage as the tears flooded his cheeks. He swiped them away angrily with a slender, grimy hand. “One bloke was nice. Saw him a few times. Bought me dinner. Told me he worked at the University of Vermont. When the cops got me for assault, I stole money and ran. Hitched and rode buses east.” All of the anger evaporated and Spike sank to the floor. He spoke quietly, almost in a whisper. “The guy raped me over and over, Liam, and when I tried to get away, he cut my eye.” He looked up then and pointed to the scar on his eyebrow. “Bloody hell I ran. Do you know what would have happened to me in jail? I’m dirty Liam.” He stared at Liam and then lowered his eyes, mumbling over and over. “Dirty…dirty.” His body sagged with exhaustion.

Liam dropped to the floor and grasped Spike tightly to his chest, rocking him like a child, murmuring into his soft hair. “I’m so sorry, Spike. I’m so sorry. You’re not dirty. Not you. Them. They did it to you. Jesus. Oh God, Spike, you poor kid.”

They sat that way for a long time. Liam held Spike in his arms and rocked him like a child; all the while he murmured comforting words. Finally, Liam stopped moving. Spike ceased trembling; he'd fallen asleep in Liam's arms. Liam smiled sadly and held on tightly.

A little while later, the sheriff climbed up the ladder. “Everything okay, Liam?”

“Yeah. He’s asleep. We’ll be down in a while.” Liam whispered.

The man nodded and climbed back down.

Spike slept deeply for an hour, awoke suddenly and struggled away from Liam. He looked up into the other man’s kind face. “Oh.” His eyes filled with tears again and he looked away.

Liam put his hand on Spike’s shoulder. “Ready to go home?”

The younger man jerked his head up to look at Liam. “Home?”

“Yeah, I’m a little stiff from sitting here in the cold. I need to soak in the tub.” Liam smiled and stood up. He turned toward the ladder, stopped and looked at younger man. “Coming?”

Spike looked into Liam’s dark brown eyes and saw no horror, no disgust, just gentle concern. Why doesn’t he hate me? Is he really…how can he be this…understanding? He stood up shakily and nodded and followed the larger man down the ladder.

Mrs. Jenkins stood on her back porch with John and the sheriff. She came toward Spike. He stopped walking and lowered his head. The tiny woman put her arms around his waist and rested her head against his slender chest and whispered. “Spike. Darling boy. Don’t you know that we all care about you? We’ll work this out. I promise you. I promise you.”

She released the young man and stepped back. Her heart clenched in her chest when he saw the look of disbelief on Spike’s face.

“My truck’s out front.” John said.

The shopkeeper dropped Liam, Spike and Mac at the cabin. The doctor’s old car was parked in front. He came out onto the porch to greet them. “Trying to undo my good work, boy? Didn’t think you liked being in the hospital.” He said in a firm no-nonsense voice.

Liam and Spike followed him inside. “Sit.” He demanded. The young man sat on the sofa and the dog stood guard at his feet, his paw on Spike’s knee. There was a loud meow and Bella jumped onto the back of the sofa and butted the back of Spike’s head. Both Liam and the doctor smiled. But then Spike sagged against the back of the sofa, tears shimmered on his ashen, hollow cheeks. Liam stiffened, walked to the back of the sofa and rested both hands on Spike’s shoulders.

“Spike…you’re okay now…please.” The worried man looked over at the doctor.

“Liam, would you make some tea? I need to examine Spike.”

Liam nodded and went into the kitchen to put the kettle on and Dr. Clayton began his examination. The worried man strained to hear the mumbled conversation between Spike and the doc, but they were speaking too quietly.

A few minutes later, Liam placed a mug of hot, sweet tea laced with a bit of whiskey on the table next to the younger man.

“He has a low fever and his lungs aren’t as clear as they were. I’d like to take him back to the hospital, but…” The doctor said looking from Liam to the younger man.

Spike looked terrified and Liam saw his fear. “Couldn’t he stay here? I promise I’ll take care of him.”

Doc Clayton stared at Spike and spoke severely. “Are you going to run off again? You do that and you could be in serious trouble.”

The younger man looked over at Liam and then back to the doctor. “I …I won’t run.”

“Okay. I’m adding another antibiotic to the one you have. I’ll call it in and a refill for the Amoxicillin.” He turned away from Spike. “Keep him warm, Liam. Make sure he has enough liquids. Got any juice?”

“Cranberry and orange, but I can get whatever he needs.”

“That’s fine.” The doctor replied and looked at Spike. “You need to drink lots of water, too.”

Spike nodded and the doctor turned back to Liam. “You can pick the medicine up later today. You have my number. I’ll stop back tomorrow evening.”

“Doc, can Spike soak in the spa tub? The steam should help his lungs. I can add some eucalyptus tablets to help him breathe easier.” Liam asked.

“Yes, just make sure both the water and the room are warm and then wrap him up.” He answered and then put on his coat and walked toward the door. Liam followed.

“Thanks doc. I’ll watch him.”

The old man nodded and spoke quietly. “It’s not just his physical health I’m worried about. Get him to open up. He’s holding anger and hurt inside.”

“I know. I’ll try, but I don’t want to push.” Liam answered.

The old man turned back to Spike. “You need to take your meds, rest and stay warm, son, or you’ll end up back in the hospital.”

Spike nodded carefully. His head throbbed and he couldn’t stop shivering. The doctor waved and walked out onto the porch. Liam said good-bye and walked back inside. He spoke in what he hoped was a non-threatening tone. “Hey, Spike, ready for that bath?”

After Liam fixed the water and left, Spike sank into the hot bubbles. He breathed in the sharp smell of the eucalyptus. So good. So warm. Why’d he come after me? I know the sheriff told him. Bollocks. Can’t figure anyone out. How can everyone be so nice all the time?

He was startled awake when Liam shook his shoulder. “Hey. Probably should get out. Brought in some clothes. They’re mine, so they’ll be too big. Yours are dusty. I’ve put them in the wash.” Liam smiled and left the room.

Spike dried off, dressed and walked hesitantly into the living room. The pounding in his head had gentled and the swirling water had soothed the tension from his body. He was tired but he felt…safe. Liam was sitting at a large desk across the room. He spun around and grinned. “Come try the new computer.”

For the next few hours Liam showed Spike how to work the mouse, how to type on the keyboard and how to search the Internet. Once again he was surprised and saddened by the younger man’s limited experience. Most eighteen year olds would be teaching me things. Liam periodically asked Spike if he wanted to stop and rest, but Spike was fascinated and determined, although he was quickly frustrated when he made a mistake.

“Spike, it took me months to be comfortable with my first computer. You’ll have plenty of time to practice.”

As they ate dinner, Liam heard a car pull up; he opened the door to see John. He stood there with a bag from the pharmacy.

“Picked a few things up for Mrs. Jenkins. She’s got some new heart medicine. Thought I’d bring Spike’s. Okay?” John said.

“Oh God! I forgot. Thanks John. We were playing with the computer and I lost track of time.” Liam said, clearly disconcerted by his absentmindedness.

John grinned. “I know how that is. Hey, Spike. Like that computer?”

“Yeah. Bit hard to figure out though.” The younger man answered quietly.

“You’ll get the hang of it. Kids’ heads are wired better for technology, I think. Well, go back to your dinner. See ya.”

After dinner they watched part of The Fellowship of the Ring until Spike admitted he was too tired to stay awake.

“We’ll finish it tomorrow. Here, don’t forget your medicine.”

Spike grumbled half heartedly but took the tablets and went into the bedroom. He left the door ajar and Bella followed him in.

Liam cleaned up the kitchen and lay down on the air mattress with his book. He read about five pages and fell asleep. He was awakened by coughing and he hurried into the bedroom. Spike was asleep, but he was flushed and sweating and his breathing was slightly labored. Liam ran into the bathroom and returned with a cloth that he had rinsed in cold water. He knelt by the bed and gently wiped Spike’s glistening face. The younger man opened his eyes.

“Hey, there. You okay? You were coughing,” Liam asked trying to smile despite his concern.

“Hmm…throat hurts.” Spike replied, his voice raspy.

“I’ll get fresh water in the pitcher so you can take your pills.”

When Liam returned, Spike had fallen back to sleep. He pulled the chair close to the bed and sat down. He reached for Spike’s hand; his pulse raced. Liam tensed. Should I wake him up to take his medicine? He patted the younger man’s sweat-glistened face with the cloth. He leaned in and whispered. “Wake up, Spike. Hey, you.”

Spike’s eyelids flickered open.

“Hey. Let me help you up.” Liam said as he lifted the slender form up against the headboard. He handed the pills and a glass of water to Spike. Liam’s heart lurched. Spike’s blue eyes burned with fever in his thin, flushed face. After he finished, he sank back onto the bed and closed his eyes. Within minutes he was asleep; his breathing ragged and uneven.

Liam sat for a long time watching over Spike. He brushed the damp curls from his clammy brow. He is so beautiful. So young. I was eighteen when I…when I met David. He was only six years older than I. I… I’m ten years older…Liam stood up quickly, disgusted with his thoughts. He pulled the covers further up on Spike’s body. I could wrap him up with one arm, he’s so thin. He grimaced and hurried from the room. He sat on the sofa and stared into the fire and absent-mindedly scratched Mac’s head. I know the doc said he was clean. But…but he called himself a whore…the assault was after…after a trick…How many men was he with…How many touched his… his beautiful body. He shuddered as he imagined Spike’s fragile…He got up abruptly and got a glass of whiskey, furious and embarrassed by feelings that he thought were long buried.

Over the next few days, Liam and Spike worked at the computer. Whenever Liam had to go out to the barn to work on his projects, Spike remained inside, riveted by the images and information that flooded the screen. He quickly learned to type and to search. He was thrilled to find the pages of other kids who shared their drawings, poems and stories on the Internet. He wondered if he’d ever be able to create a site on his own. Much to his dismay, he had to stop and rest but the coughing and fever subsided.

Liam often found him seated in front of the computer, his head down on the desk, asleep. Although he was getting well, he still tired easily. Liam and Mrs. Jenkins fed him constantly until Spike complained that his clothes were getting tight.

“Don’t want to be a sodding porker.” He groused.

“Maybe you should cut out the frequent chocolate fixes.” Liam replied with a grin at the disgusted look on the younger man’s face.

They both laughed; their easy camaraderie growing daily. Then the sheriff came by unexpectedly one day with information from California.

“Hey, Spike. Got some good news. Your assault charges have been dropped. The guy raped somebody else and that kid killed him. He pled self-defense and had a witness.”

Spike’s body relaxed slightly. “How’d you find out?” He asked quietly.

“Liam had me contact the L.A. police. They recommended an investigator who found out about the other attack. Your friend here hired a lawyer to go to the other kid’s hearing. All charges were dropped for both of you.” The sheriff paused and continued. “The shoplifting charge is gone too. You were seventeen and it was under $50. Liam made restitution to the art store, even though it wasn’t necessary.

Spike stared at Liam, his mouth open in surprise.

“Well, gotta go. You gonna come to the Beef & Beer at Toby’s next week, Liam? Almost everyone is going. Gotta get some help for Joe Dorsey until his leg heals, and this benefit affair should help.”

Liam looked over at Spike. He hadn’t mentioned the benefit at Toby's to the younger man. “Yeah, I think so. Spike’s a lot better.”

The sheriff said good-bye and left. Spike had not taken his eyes off Liam.

“What…why…why did…” The young man stammered, his pale face flushed pink.

“I knew it was hanging over your head, Spike and I knew it was self-defense. I was right. Now, you don't have a record.” Liam smiled.

He stared at his benefactor in disbelief, mumbled “Thanks”, and walked back to the computer; his confused thoughts whirling through his mind. He was unsettled and embarrassed. He didn’t really know how to thank Liam. He just couldn’t understand Liam's concern and kindness. My own folks didn’t care about me…why…why is this stranger? He was used to expressing anger, not gratitude. Another bloody thing I don’t know how to do.

After a week, Spike was well enough to go out into the barn to work on the footstool for Mrs. Jenkins. Christmas was getting closer. He was puzzled. Mrs. Jenkins had a tree in her living room and candles in the windows. When they went into town, all of the stores and houses were brightly lit with decorations. Liam had not said anything about a tree or decorations and although he tried to hide it, Spike noticed that the older man seemed sad.

After a trip to town, Spike finally asked. “Liam, don’t you have any Christmas stuff?”

He saw the other man stiffen. “Um…um, no. I gave it all away when I left New York. Do you want soup or a sandwich for lunch?”

It was obvious that he didn’t want to talk anymore about Christmas decorations. After lunch Liam went back out to the barn. Spike begged off and watched the larger man trudge through the snow. As soon as he drew the barn’s door closed, Spike walked quickly into the bedroom closet and pulled down the ladder. He has to have Christmas stuff. Had that big box of David’s things. Don’t think he really throws stuff away.

He hurriedly searched the small attic and found two large boxes way in the back labeled, neatly of course, Christmas. Spike opened the first box and found ornaments wrapped in tissue paper and strings of tiny white lights. The second box had wrapping paper, ribbon, and a smaller box that held a carved wooden crèche and figures that looked very old. He closed the boxes and went back downstairs.

A few nights later, Spike woke himself up thrashing about from another nightmare. He got up and came out into the living area. Liam was sprawled with Mac on the mattress sound asleep. He stared down at the larger, handsome man. His brown hair was tussled and errant curls fell on his brow. His full lips were slightly parted. His broad chest was bare and Spike shivered as he watched it rise and fall. The blanket had pooled below his knees and Spike smiled at the poncey flannel pajamas but felt himself stiffen quickly. Confused thoughts tumbled through his fevered mind and he ached for human touch. God he’s beautiful. I don’t get him. Why does he want me here? He’s…he…I…I have to show him…how can I pay him back? Would he want me? I…I need…

Mac got up and walked over to him. Spike scratched the dog’s head, all the while watching Liam sleep. He made his decision and gently lay next to the older man. He curled close to the powerful body and began to slowly rub Liam’s muscled arm. He traced the contours of the large chest with his fingertips. Liam moaned in his sleep and Spike saw him harden. He stilled and stared for long minutes at the tented fabric over the larger man’s groin. Spike sat up slightly and began to kiss Liam’s lower abdomen. The sleeping man moaned again. Spike continued to softly kiss the larger man’s body. Slowly he raised his hand and placed it on Liam’s burgeoning erection; he caressed it gently.

“Oh God. Oh God. David…need you.” Liam moaned.

Spike stopped when he heard Liam call his dead lover’s name. David. I’ll make him forget David. He leaned over and slipped his hand inside the pajama opening and pulled out the throbbing organ. He glanced once more at Liam as the man moaned again and took the erection into his mouth; he swirled his tongue over its stiffness. He sucked the member to the back of his throat. Liam groaned and began to writhe in pleasure.

“It’s been so long, so long David.”

Suddenly the sensual moans ceased and Liam’s body became rigid. “Spike! Oh God! What are you doing?”

The older man shoved hard and Spike fell to one side. Liam covered himself, and stood up abruptly. “Spike. What? Jesus! Why…what? Damnit! What were you doing?”

Spike lay on the mattress, his legs spread salaciously. He channeled his badass persona, although fear raged through his frail frame. “Think you know, Mate. Must’a liked it with the moans and all.”

The appalled look on Liam’s face frightened and confused Spike and he stood up quickly. “It’s been a long time…for you….and me…Just wanted…wanted to touch you… thank you…for everything.”

“Thank me! This is how you thank me?” Liam spoke loudly, his beautiful face flushed, his eyes wild. He lowered his voice and stared at the young man who trembled before him. “Spike…I…you…I don’t need thanks…not like this.”

Anger flashed red streaks across the younger man’s face. “Not good enough for you, yeah? Damaged goods, huh?...Fucking tart?” He lowered his eyes and his body sagged down onto the air mattress. “I…I…needed…just needed to touch you. Don’t know…how can I thank you?” Spike looked up and Liam gasped at the despair in his eyes.
 

~Part: 7~
The two men stared silently at each other. Liam brushed his fingers through his dark brown curls, desperately searching for something to say – the right something. He stared at the slender man watching him intently. Spike’s skin was flushed pink and a muscle in his cheek twitched. He held his body stiffly but his shoulders hunched, as if he expected a blow. As Liam watched he could almost see the brash street hustler persona bubbling to the surface, but then Spike’s face collapsed into sad, defeated mask.

Spike’s voice was raspy when he spoke. “No worries. I get it. I’m…I’m…” His voice trailed off and he turned away.

Liam strode over to Spike and grabbed his arm, spinning him around. Spike’s eyes widened and he looked almost scared. “You. Get. Nothing, Spike.” Liam said harshly and distinctly.

Spike glared at Liam and tried to break away from his firm grasp. “Let go, ponce.”

“No!” Liam answered and pulled Spike toward the sofa, pushing him onto the cushions. “Sit down.” Spike opened his mouth to speak; fear and anger raced across his white, sharply chiseled face. “No! You’ll listen.” Liam sat down heavily next to him. He scowled at Spike, then sighed and turned away. He bent his body and put his hands on his knees. His voice barely above a whisper, Liam began to speak.

“I was 18 when I met David. He…he was an architect on one of my father’s construction projects. I had known for a while…that I was gay although I struggled to combat it. I was a jock – football in the fall and baseball in the spring. Always had a girlfriend. But…I knew. My dad expected me to follow in his footsteps – run the family business after college. I had a football scholarship – to Princeton. I worked at the construction site all summer. I was attracted to David. I made excuses to see him, go into the trailer, ask questions about the plans, and hang around. David was kind and patient, but he made no overtures. Finally, before the end of the summer, I did. I got him alone and…showed him I was interested in him. He told me that he was six years older than I and I had to experience more of life before I knew what I wanted. He said he was going away for the rest of the summer; his partner would take over the job. He told me I was beautiful and that if I still felt the same way when I was older…” Liam paused for a moment and then continued speaking in his quiet, gentle way.

“I was devastated. I couldn’t wait for the summer to be over so I could get away from everything. I went to school early for football camp and threw myself into my studies. In the third game of the season, I shattered my knee. My football career was over. I came home to heal. I decided not to return to Princeton and registered at Columbia for the spring semester. My parents had moved out of the city to Westchester County, but they let me use the family apartment while I went to school. I still had to use a cane to walk and went to physical therapy three days a week. One afternoon, as I left the therapist’s office, I saw David. He was sitting in a coffee shop, with…with another man. I stopped and stared until he turned and saw me. He said something to the man and came outside although I had hobbled a few steps down the street, furious and embarrassed by the tears in my eyes.”

Spike had been listening attentively and he reached out to touch Liam’s arm. Liam looked at him and smiled sadly. He glanced away and continued.

“We saw each other often, and eventually he gave in to my persistence and moved in with me into my family’s apartment. My father was furious, disinherited me … Shortly after, my mother had a heart attack and died; my father blamed me. My father never spoke to me again. The apartment we lived in had been my grandparents’ and my grandmother gave it to me. She was the only one who loved me unconditionally.

David insisted that I continue with school. He and my grandmother paid the tuition. I finished my undergraduate studies and earned a Master of Fine Arts with a concentration in sculpture. My grandmother died a few weeks after my graduation. The only family I had left was David. I was tired and a little depressed. I loved school and school was over. I lay around the apartment for a while until David got me a job in the workshop of an elderly man who made furniture. He was semi-retired and almost blind but he took me on because I spoke Italian. He taught me to create beautiful things out of wood. It was very different from working with clay or bronze. I began to like the idea of creating art that could be used every day.”

Liam clasped his hands together tightly. “David and I lived and worked together for eight years until…David was HIV positive and eventually…he died of the disease.”

Liam turned his head and grasped Spike’s hand. He stared hard into the younger man’s tearful blue eyes. “I had never been with anyone, Spike. David and I…David was…he was my only…lover. Everything I am is because of him…” He stopped speaking and swallowed.

Spike touched Liam’s cheek with his other hand. “No, luv…David may have taught you…how to be with a man, but you…you are kind and caring and…and…you had those feelings inside of you before you met him. I’ve never…never known anyone like you, Liam…thought people like you only lived in fairy tales or Hollywood movies. I’m sure you’ve figured out my life weren’t no fairy tale. Don’t know how…how to be kind like you. Don’t know how to…I know sex…how to use it to get what I want. I’m not…not innocent like you were…like you are. You think the best of everyone. I don’t…I think everyone’s out for themselves…that’s what I know. Being here with you and these people is…a fantasy…a good fantasy, not like my comics…”

Spike stopped speaking suddenly. He didn’t mean to reveal the subject matter of his drawings to Liam, especially not now.

Liam’s smile was sad. “I knew there had to be something else that you weren’t showing me. I know when I make a chair or a table, I put part of my soul into it. I suspected your life had been…”

“Shit?” Spike interrupted; his lips curled into his trademark smirk.

“Yeah, that’s a good word.” Liam replied. “Mrs. Jenkins was concerned about you. She mentioned that she thought you…you had been…”

“Fucked?” The younger man said with a humorless laugh.

“Abused. I already thought that because…”

“Because I came on to you like some street hustler.” Spike said quietly.

“Yeah.”

Spike began to speak haltingly, never looking at Liam. “Lived in a flat in Liverpool. When I was thirteen, the bird next door taught me how to fuck. I liked it. She and her friends made a fuss over me…held me…talked to me. Me da threw me mum out when I was fourteen. He caught her fucking a bloke in the back of the pub. She’d been fucking her dealer regular in the flat when he was at work but he didn’t know. A few months later he married a slag who was twenty. He was thirty-five. She thought I was innocent; thought she was teaching me how to fuck. I let her. Liked…liked being…touched. He came home early, found us and stormed out. Came back with a one-way ticket for me for the next day to L.A. That’s where me mum was. Took me to the airport. Sat with me overnight to make sure I didn’t run. Never said a word to me. Handed me a paper with her address and five pounds. Watched me get on the plane. Me mum didn’t know I was coming.”

He stopped speaking and Liam rested his large hand on Spike’s thin arm. He lifted his head and saw the concern on Liam's face and gave him a sad, lopsided smile and lowered his head. “When that john raped me it hurt…it hurt. I was scared. I didn’t know how…I fought but he was stronger…Me mum…her dealer told her I’d be her free ride.”

Spike shivered and Liam put his hand on his back. “Was bloody awful in the beginning. Wasn’t…wasn’t sure…didn’t know…The men…they were filthy and they smelled. I showered over and over, when the water was on, and never felt clean. Most were…brutal. I hated…hated sucking them off. Hated being on my knees, like they were…better than me.” He shuddered and Liam reached to squeeze his hand. Spike wouldn’t look up at him.

“At first the fucking hurt like hell. I’d bleed for hours. After a while…I was a tool…a means for them to get off. The toffs smelled better but they…they were just as…vicious…some were…they’d slap me around. I was…I was powerless…I didn’t own my body. Me mum’s pimp owned it.” Spike stopped speaking and the two men sat silently for a while.

Spike began again; his quiet words tumbling out in a rush. “Learned quickly to go off into my head. Be numb. Stopped being afraid when I figured out that I had power. They wanted me. Got real good at seduction, making them want me. Some of the toffs liked that act. Guess it felt like I wanted them. Learned to use my body to get what I wanted – extra cash, movie passes, whatever. Was better when the same blokes came regular. Sometimes I could coax them to take me to a hotel so I could shower in hot water and sleep in clean sheets. The guy who told me he worked at the University of Vermont was a regular. Was on sabbatical for a year; worked at a film studio. Took me there once. He was the nicest one but he was still a john and had…had expectations.”

Spike stopped talking and once again the men sat quietly together. Spike broke the silence. “I’m sorry, Liam…I…”

Liam turned Spike’s face toward him. He put his finger to Spike’s lips and shook his head. “I’m sorry you had to live like that. I cannot even imagine how that was.”

Spike tried to stifle a yawn and Liam noticed his face was pale and slightly sweaty. He traced his finger along the other man’s sharp cheekbone. Spike leaned into the touch. Liam spoke softly. “You need sleep. Doc said to rest. You don’t want him mad at me do you?”

The men stood up and stared at each other. Each of them had shared something they had kept secreted away. They felt vulnerable since they revealed their feelings. But they felt less lonely, a bit closer. They felt friendship…and the stirrings of something more.

The two men said nothing more about their revelations and lived together peacefully for the next few days. Spike finished Mrs. Jenkins’ footstool and he and Liam drove over to deliver it and the small chest that the older man had made for her. She was leaving to go to her daughter’s for Christmas. She was touched by the gifts and her eyes filled with tears as she patted Spike’s face.

“It is beautiful, Spike. I will treasure it and use it everyday.” She turned to Liam and touched his cheek. “You have taught him well, Liam. I love the chest. I already know what I’ll put in it. I have antique lace from my grandmother that I've been storing in tissue paper in a cardboard box at the back of my closet.” She smiled at them. “You both have such artistic talent. It is obvious that you put a piece of your heart in what you make.”

The old woman handed each of them a beautifully wrapped package. “Wait till Christmas morning to open these.”

They visited with her for awhile and then Doc Clayton arrived to take her into Burlington to get the train to Boston. She kissed Liam and Spike and waved good-bye. Liam and Spike went for lunch at the hotel and stopped at John’s for groceries. When they got home, Liam went out to the barn to finish up a few more orders and Spike worked on the comic book he was making him for Christmas. The next day Liam went out early to make his final deliveries. He would be out until late afternoon. As soon as Spike saw the truck at the end of the driveway, he called John and hurried up to the attic to get the boxes of Christmas decorations. When the shopkeeper arrived, the two men went into the woods to cut down a small tree and some evergreen branches. Spike knew he didn’t really know how to saw down a tree so he secretly enlisted the other man’s help. John had brought pieces of wood to nail into the trunk for a stand. They took the tree into the cabin and set it up.

John watched Spike and marveled at the changes in him. The pale, sickly man was gone and the hard-edged street hustler had disappeared; a happy eighteen-year-old had taken up residence in his still too-thin body. His bright blue eyes twinkled and his face was flushed with excitement.

After John left, Spike began decorating. Bella and Mac hovered nearby. He laughed loudly when Mac put a branch in his mouth and pranced around the cabin. Spike draped evergreen boughs on every flat surface and placed some of the glass ornaments in the middle of the branches. Mrs. Jenkins had loaned him some of her candles and he set them amid the greenery and ornaments and plugged them in. He wrapped the tiny lights around the tree and hung the rest of the ornaments. He took an old plaid blanket and draped it beneath the little tree and carefully unpacked the crèche and the figures and set them on the blanket. They must have belonged to his grandmother. They are very, very old. Bella curled next to the tiny, wooden building. He wrapped Liam’s gift and placed it under the tree with the little presents for Mac and Bella and the gifts Mrs. Jenkins had given them. When he was finished, he gazed around the cabin. He had not had a Christmas tree since he was fourteen. He had found some home decorating shows on television and he tried to copy some of what he saw. The homeless man had decorated his new home for Christmas! He couldn’t wait until Liam came home.

Spike heard Liam’s truck and walked out onto the porch, Mac at his side.

Liam walked up the steps and smiled at Spike, who was grinning. “You look like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. “What’s up?”

Spike didn’t answer; he took Liam’s hand and pulled him into the cabin. Liam looked at the Christmas decorations; his body stiffened and his eyes filled with tears.

Spike’s face crumbled. “Don’t…don’t you like it?”

Liam faced the younger man and clasped his hand. “I’m….I’m sorry, Spike. It’s…it’s lovely, Spike.”

Hurt and anger replaced the joy in Spike’s eyes and his voice hardened. “Must have something to do with David, yeah? Don’t celebrate anymore because David isn’t here. Bloke’s been dead for three sodding years. Take off the fucking sackcloth, ponce.”

He spun on his heels and strode into the back hallway. He put on his heavy coat and opened the door to go outside. A large hand grabbed his arm and turned him around.

“Don’t you dare talk about David! My heart isn’t encased in ice like yours. Someone loved me…loved me for eight years. You know nothing about love, Spike!”

“This isn’t love; this is bloody …bloody carryin’ a torch; holdin’ onto the past. You think David would want you to do this? If he loved you, he wouldn’t. He’d want you to be happy; want you to let yourself be happy. Just because you’re not sad doesn’t mean you forget him.” Spike answered in a furious barrage and pulled his arm from Liam’s grasp and stomped out into the cold.

He reached the barn and went inside; only then did he allow his tears to fall. I’ll never understand him. Thought… he cared about me a little. Thought he’d be…pleased. Wanted to finally have a real Christmas. You. Are. A. Sodding idjit William! Why’d ya think...why’d ya think it would ever be different?

Spike climbed the ladder to the loft. Always climbin’ high, William. Always fallin’ hard you fuckin’ fool! He walked over to the hayloft door in the wall and struggled to slide it open. He sat down and stared out into the woods; watching as the snow began to coat the branches of the trees. He tried to talk the tears away, but they wouldn’t listen. He heard the barn door open.

“Spike? Spike?”

He didn’t answer. He was angry and hurt and furious with himself for feeling anything; for hoping. He heard Liam’s steps on the ladder and then on the old wooden floor, but he didn’t turn around.

Liam sank to his knees next to him. “Spike, I’m…I’m sorry…you’re right. David wouldn’t want me…wouldn’t want me to be sad.”

Spike turned to look at the older man; saw the tears glistening on his handsome face, but said nothing.

“I am carrying a torch. But…David died on Christmas Eve…and…and I was…relieved. I felt guilty because I was relieved.” He sighed. “Spike, please come inside. I’m cold and being out here isn’t good for you. Please…I’ll tell you why…” He stood up and reached out his hand.

Spike took it and Liam pulled him up. They climbed down and silently walked back into the cabin. They hung up their coats and went into the living area. Liam put logs on the fire and then poured each of them a small glass of Bailey’s Irish Crème. Spike raised his eyebrows in surprise as he took the glass. He sat down on the sofa and Liam pulled over the rocking chair. Spike sipped the drink and stared at Liam, waiting for him to continue. Liam stared into the fireplace for a long moment and then finally faced Spike and began to speak softly and haltingly.

“David…David loved Christmas. He...the apartment looked…looked like a fantasyland when he decorated. We…we had parties. Friends…we celebrated…Gave each other lots of presents…went away for New Year’s…It was…I was so happy.” Liam paused and sipped his drink.

“I was lost when David died. I had no one… I ran away…from everything…from my memories. Went to North Carolina; somewhere we had never gone. Never…never did anything that we had done. I hardened my heart; never let anyone in…tried to erase him from my mind…but… my guilt was determined that he should stay. When my uncle died and left me this cabin, I came here…David and I had never been here. Slowly…I made a life here.”

He smiled sadly at Spike and turned back to stare into the fire. “You’re right…these people…it is like a fairy tale…they take you as you are…let you be alone if you want…but welcome you if…if you want to be welcomed…I swore I would never…never get…close to anyone ever again…I could not…I couldn’t say good-bye to anyone again…and then…”

Liam stopped speaking and turned to look at Spike. “And then Mac found you in the woods…and…and the walls I built around my heart began to crumble. I was scared. I struggled…I tried to build them up again…but…I couldn’t.” He smiled and Spike’s heart flipped.

“You pushed your way in, Spike…and I found myself wanting you in my life and it terrified me. The…the cabin looks beautiful. It smells like…Christmas. I hurt you and I’m sorry.” Liam stopped talking and smiled hopefully.

While Liam was speaking, Spike had relaxed his rigid body. No one had ever apologized to him. He swallowed and spoke quietly. “Don’t like seein’ you sad, Liam. You shouldn’t…shouldn’t be sad…you’re…makes me angry seeing you sad. I want to do something and…and I don’t know what to do…how to make it…better…and that makes me angry, too. I…I know I don’t…don’t know how to do things…don’t know how to be with…with nice people.”

The two men stared at each other for a long time. Spike’s stomach growled and he blushed. Liam laughed and stood. “Let’s get some dinner. Do you want to go out?”

“No. Got spaghetti?”

Liam grinned. “I’m half Italian. It’s a rule. Italians must always have gravy in the fridge and pasta in the cupboard.”

The two men shared dinner and then laughed their way through the movie Home Alone on TV.

Two days later was Christmas Eve and Liam and Spike drove to Burlington. Spike could barely contain his excitement. They stopped for coffee at Radio Bean and then entered an elegant men’s clothing store, Michael Kehoe, Ltd. Spike was intimidated as soon as they walked in, but the salesman knew Liam and he relaxed – a bit.

Spike walked out of the dressing room and Liam almost gasped. He had on grey flannel slacks, a black suede jacket and a blue shirt, open collared. He looked – elegant.

“Um…you look…you look great.” Liam said as his cheeks flushed pink.

Spike grinned. “Poncey, but they feel good.”

Liam tried on a camel hair sport coat and dark brown wool pants and a cream shirt.

Spike waggled his eyebrows at him as he stood in front of the mirror. “Sexxxxy.” He hissed. Liam blushed deep red, but then they both laughed.

They put their purchases in the car and continued to explore Burlington. It was a college town and the clothing was preppy not punk, much to Spike’s dismay. Finally, a young saleswoman gave them directions to a tiny shop on a back street with everything Spike liked. He happily tried on black jeans and t-shirts. When he came out of the dressing room, he searched for Liam who waved him over, a huge grin creasing his handsome face. He was standing in the shoe department, holding up a pair of Doc Martins. Spike almost whooped for joy. They bought the shoes and headed out of the store. Spike stopped briefly at a rack of black leather dusters, but they were very expensive and Liam had spent quite a lot on him today. Maybe I could work part time at John’s or at that dry goods store. Not right for Liam to buy me everything.

They had lunch at Ri~Ra’s Irish Pub and visited the Frog Hollow Market where they picked up a few pieces of Vermont made pottery. Spike spent an hour in the music store while Liam met with a gallery owner who wanted him to put a few pieces in his shop on consignment. They went to Pauline’s, an upscale restaurant, for dinner and then drove back to North Hero. They unloaded the car and Spike dragged himself into the bedroom. Liam peeked in a bit later and saw that he had fallen asleep in his clothes and shoes. He tiptoed in and unlaced the new Doc Martins that Spike had insisted on wearing immediately. Spike never even twitched. Liam sneaked back out and finished wrapping Spike’s gifts before falling asleep himself.

Spike woke up first, which was unusual. He was too excited to sleep. He hadn’t been anxious for Christmas morning in years. He watched Liam sleeping for a few minutes. This man…he is a good man…a man for…for always. He shook his head and went into the kitchen to make tea. Grinning, he made a bit of noise, hoping Liam would wake but he didn’t hear him stirring. He let Mac out and put food out for the dog and Bella. Mac barked and he let him in. Liam was standing in the kitchen, smiling.

“Merry Christmas, Spike!”

“Merry Christmas, Liam!

They took their mugs of tea into the living area, where Liam lit a fire and plugged in the tree lights. They sat quietly sipping their tea and staring at the twinkling lights on the tiny evergreen. Spike couldn’t stop fidgeting. Liam pretended not to notice. Finally Spike could contain himself no longer. He went over to the tree and picked up a brightly wrapped package and handed it to Liam.

“Open yours first, Liam.” Spike demanded with a grin. He couldn’t stop grinning.

“Thanks, Spike.” He took off the ribbon and paper and sat staring at the gift. Spike had made a comic book about his life since he had come to North Hero. The title page said An Island Fairy Tale. Liam glanced at every page slowly. Spike had drawn himself huddled beneath a tree, Mac nudging him with his head. The caption read: Mac, the rescue dog. He drew Liam carrying him into the cabin: Liam, the shining knight. Liam looked up, his eyes glittering with tears. He continued to look through the book, amazed at Spike’s talent and touched by what he drew and wrote. He had drawn a map of North Hero and labeled it The Magical Island. There was a drawing of Mrs. Jenkins in a rocking chair with Spike at her feet, with the caption: Queen of the island and the errant knight. His heart clenched when he saw Spike, hooked up to tubes, lying in the hospital: Lost knight dying. Everyone they knew was in the book. The doctor was The Court Physician. Tom Hansen was dressed in shining amour. He stood on top of a crumbling building. His page was titled, The brave sheriff of North Hero crushes the evil city. Bella was somewhere on every page. Sometimes she was hidden and Liam had to search but she was always there. He closed the book and sat perfectly still. When he looked up, his face glistened with tears.

He looked at Spike in awe. “I…I don’t…I have never seen anything so lovingly drawn. You are truly talented, Spike…your drawing is exquisite. You have captured everyone perfectly. This…I will treasure this. I have never received such a special gift. Thank you.” He reached over and caressed Spike’s cheek. They gazed at each other for a long moment. Finally Liam swiped his hand over his wet face.

“Your turn, Spike. But nothing I could buy will compare to this book.” Liam directed him to a pile of presents sprawled beneath the tree, all with his name. Spike looked and his eyes widened.

“These are all for me?” He asked incredulously.

“Yes. And now I know for certain that someday with your talent you will be very wealthy…and you will buy me a…a sailboat, named Bella.”

Spike grinned and began to open the boxes. Liam had bought him a variety of art supplies: black pencils, all sizes of erasers, a huge box of colored pencils, Crowquill pens, different colors of India ink, a Rapidograph pen set, markers, 80 lb. drawing paper, matte board and several other must haves. Liam also bought graphic programs for the computer. He was thrilled.

“Liam, thank you. This…these…it’s everything I need. I can’t wait to try these computer programs, although I can’t imagine drawing without paper and pencil.”

“I couldn’t either, but…David had some and it was fascinating to watch him create images on the screen. It may take a while for you to get the hang of it. It took him quite a long time. You may prefer to use pencils but I wanted to give you the option.” Liam answered, hoping that a reference to David wouldn’t upset Spike.

“I’ll try. You may not get much computer time with all these new programs to try out.” Spike smiled.

“Maybe we’ll have to get a second computer. I’ve been seeing the ads for laptops.”

Liam got up and went into the closet in the bathroom. He came out carrying a large box with a huge red bow. He handed it to Spike.

“Liam, you gave me too much already.” Spike protested.

“Open it.” Liam demanded.

Spike undid the bow and opened the box; inside lay the black leather duster that he saw in the store. His eyes grew wide and his mouth opened in surprise. He looked up at Liam.

“How’d you know?”

“I saw you fingering it and figured it would be perfect with your Doc Martins.” Liam laughed. “I guess you like it?”

Spike jumped up and put on the coat. He rubbed his hands over the supple leather. He walked over to Liam and gave him a hug. Liam was surprised but happily returned the hug until Spike stepped away, twirling a bit like a little kid.

Spike blushed at his display. “I’ve never had anything so…so fine before. I can never thank you…”

“I’m happy you’re here Spike. I’m happy you’re well and…I am deeply touched by your book.” Liam interrupted. He grinned and said, “Breakfast?”

Spike returned the grin and answered. “Yeah, I could eat.”

Liam laughed as he walked into the kitchen. “What a surprise!”

After breakfast, Liam and Spike opened Mrs. Jenkins’ gifts. She had given Spike an early 19th century illustrated edition of William Blake’s Songs of Experience and Liam received a signed first edition book of a collection of Gustav Stickley’s furniture. The Blake had belonged to her father and the Stickley had been her husband’s. Both of them were overwhelmed by her generosity and spent a long time paging through the volumes and sharing the art with each other.

Liam installed two of the graphic programs and he and Spike attempted to manipulate the stylus. They struggled and agreed that becoming adept would take lots of practice. Bella was rolling around on the catnip mouse Spike had gotten her and the men laughed at the usually regally calm cat’s antics. They took Mac outside and tossed the huge rubber ball that Spike had given the dog. Later in the afternoon, they dressed in their new clothes and drove through heavily falling snow to John and Amy’s for dinner. As soon as he entered the house, Amy ran over to Liam and threw her arms around his neck.

“Thank you, Liam. Thank you!” She gushed, her eyes sparkling.

Liam had ordered a flower-of-the-month gift for the woman. He blushed. “Flowers are good, especially during our long winter months.” He said quietly and looked over at John who made a show of glaring, but his eyes were twinkling.

“Next time you need help with your computer, don’t call me!” He said and everyone laughed.

Doc Clayton and the sheriff greeted them. Another car crunched into the snow-covered driveway and John hurried outside. He returned shortly pushing a woman in a wheel chair. It was Ann Sawyer, the woman who owned the dry goods store and her daughter, Jess. Jess took the wheelchair from John and she and her mother came over to Liam. Ann reached for the woodsmith’s hand.

“Thank you, Liam. I haven’t felt so special in a long time.” She pulled him down and kissed him on the cheek. Jess gave him a peck too, as both women grinned at the tall, handsome man who was clearly uncomfortable with the attention. He had sent the monthly flower arrangement to Ann and her daughter, too.

“My grandmother…really loved flowers, especially in the winter.” He mumbled; the flush on his face deepened.

Spike had watched the scene with awe. He mouth twitched with a smile. Damn right it’s a sodding fairy tale. He sobered and sighed. Liam is…he is so thoughtful. How does he know just the right thing to do? I could never think of just…just the perfect gift.

Liam had been watching Spike out of the corner of his eye. He extricated himself from the group and walked over. He looked down at Spike and winked. “You gave me the perfect gift, Spike. You gave me something you made especially for me.”

Spike was startled. “How…how’d ya know what…?”

Liam laughed quietly. “Your face, Spike. Your face shows every emotion that you’re feeling. Better never play poker.”

“Sodding psychic you are, Liam.” He pouted.

Liam drew in a breath at the pout and felt a stirring of arousal. Oh my God he’s…he’s adorable. He quickly pushed those thoughts away. “Let’s join the others.”

Everyone admired the huge, beautifully decorated Christmas tree in John and Amy’s living room. The women made a fuss at the handsome new clothing that Spike and Liam wore - much to their embarrassment. John and the other men - who were not as stylishly attired - grumbled good naturedly at all of the attention the younger men were getting, and grinned at their red faces.

Liam had brought several bottles of champagne and they toasted the holiday and the absent Mrs. Jenkins. She was sincerely missed. They all enjoyed a great dinner and good company. Liam sat next to Ann and as he talked to her, he learned that she had been a high school English teacher and he questioned her about the possibility of Spike getting a GED.

“I’ll look into it, Liam. I’ll find out what the requirements are and get back to you. I’d be happy to tutor him. In fact, I’d really like to do it. I miss teaching. My brother is the chairman of the Math department at the high school over on St. Albans. He could probably help with the Math and Science requirements. I’m better with English and History.” As she was speaking, her face became more animated. “I’ll contact the county seat as soon as Christmas vacation is over.”

“Thanks, Ann.” He looked over at Spike talking with Doc Clayton. “I don’t think Spike has been to school since the elementary grades.” He gave the woman a half-smile. “I don’t know how he’s going to take to studying again.”

She laughed. “I’ll bribe him with chocolate chip cookies.”

Liam grinned back at her. “That should do it. His chocolate obsession is legendary, I guess.”

After a long, pleasant evening, Liam and Spike drove home. Spike dozed on the way back to the cabin; probably due to the huge meal, the few glasses of champagne he was allowed and the few Liam saw him sneak. When they got inside the cabin, he flopped onto the sofa. Liam went out with Mac and when he returned, Spike was sound asleep. He stood watching Spike; his light brown head resting on the back of the sofa; his sharp cheekbones accentuating his pale slightly pink face and his slender hands resting on Bella’s fur as she lay purring next to him. He felt arousal stirring again and admonished himself. You are ten years older than he is. He’ll stay awhile and then leave. He’s a city boy. North Hero will be too quiet for him soon. Liam sighed sadly. Hopefully he’ll stay awhile. Finish school. Maybe even college. Then…

He shook the sleeping man gently. “Come on, Spike. You need to get undressed.”

Spike mumbled incoherently and blinked open his eyes slightly. Liam helped him up and led him into the bedroom. Spike sat down and began fumbling with his shirt buttons. Liam helped him off with his jacket and shirt and knelt down to remove his shoes. When Spike fell back on the bed, snoring, Liam stiffened, uncertain what to do. He leaned over to unbuckle the belt and carefully pulled it through the loops. He hated the thought of Spike sleeping in his new pants. He hesitated briefly and then unzipped and gently slid the slacks down.

Liam relaxed a bit when he saw that Spike had worn boxers but he could not help but notice the hardened bulge beneath the material. Liam shivered. Spike turned onto his side; his face pale against the dark blue sheets, his thin, white hands curled under his chin. Liam reached down to gently brush the soft curls from his brow. As he pulled up the covers over the smaller man’s slender body, he watched Spike sleep for a few minutes. God, he is so beautiful… fragile…tough…his skin…so soft. He swallowed and forced down his own arousal and quickly left the room. He lay awake for a long while on the air mattress…remembering how it felt to be touched.
 

~Part: 8~

Spike and Liam slept later than usual the next day. Spike, because of his overindulgence on champagne, and Liam because he stayed awake for a long time thinking. Mac was patient; but finally licked Liam awake. He needed to go out. The groggy man stumbled to open the back door. A blast of icy wind whipped into his face and he shivered. Mac bounded out and Liam quickly slammed the door. He walked into the kitchen to make tea. As he put the kettle on the burner, he heard the dog bark. This time Liam stood away from the open door but the gale was determined to force its way inside the cabin. Mac’s jowls and eyebrows were frosted white from his few minutes outside.

Bella sauntered out of the bedroom. Liam fed the animals, made his tea, and built up the fire. Although the small cabin was well-built, fingers of cold air slipped through the window panes. Liam hurried around the room and pulled the old heavy drapes over the glass. This was the first time since he’d been in the cabin that he had to cover the windows. He heard movement and turned around. A disheveled, half asleep Spike walked hesitantly toward him.

“Bollocks. Head feels like someone’s tap dancing with spiked shoes.” He grumbled as he sprawled onto the sofa. “Bloody freezing in here, Liam.”

“Good morning to you too, Spike.” Liam smiled. “Few too many glasses of champagne, huh?”

Spike glared at him and then lowered his head carefully against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes. Bella jumped up and curled herself next to his hip. He began to pet the cat and she responded with her rumbling purrs. Despite his aching head, he smiled. Bella always made him smile and feel…loved.

“There’s a gale blowing in from Canada; seeping through the cracks. Breakfast?” Liam asked.

“Yeah…no…stomach is rollin’ over.” He answered without opening his eyes.

Liam walked over and tapped him. “Here’s tea with honey, no milk. It’ll help your stomach.”

Spike opened one eye and took the mug. “Ta.”

Liam added logs to the fire and sat in the rocker. As he watched Spike, he smiled at his gentle caresses on Bella’s back. No matter how hurt or angry he is, Bella calms him. He loves her. Liam retrieved the comic Spike made for him from the table and began to flip through it for the thousandth time. There she is; Bella's on every page. He made it fun to search for her. Liam looked up. Spike had fallen back to sleep and snored softly. He stood and covered Spike with a blanket and then went to get a shower and do their laundry.

When he returned, Spike was still asleep. He stopped for a moment to look at him. Mac had curled himself across Spike’s feet. Bella rested her head on his thigh. Liam smiled and blinked away the moisture that slipped into the corner of his eyes. Spike was well. They had shared a wonderful Christmas together and with friends. He stared around the cabin taking in all of Spike’s decorations: the garlands of evergreens everywhere, the tree, and his Grandmother’s crèche. It had come with her family over one hundred years ago when her parents emigrated from Italy. He had her shawl, a few pieces of lace, and the crèche. He sent everything else to his parents’ house when he left New York. He wished he had kept a few pieces of her furniture, but after David died, he just wanted to run away from all of his memories. He doubted that his father would let him have anything now.

He had been working on the computer for about an hour when he heard Spike stir.

“Oi…bloody hell!”

Liam got up and walked over to Spike. He sat hunched, holding his head in his hands. He looked up when he heard Liam’s approach. Liam bit his lip at Spike’s pallid complexion, immediately worried about a recurrence of pneumonia.

“This a sodding hangover, Liam? Never had one. Why’d anyone do this?” He said, a disgusted pout on his face.

Liam had to hide his smile. He looks so cute when he pouts. He swallowed. “You’re not used to drinking, Spike and you’re still not totally healthy. More tea? Toast?”

“Yeah. My stomach feels empty. Toast would be good. Like this honey tea.”

“It’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon, Spike. You haven’t eaten since Christmas dinner.” Liam responded.

Spike’s eyes flew open and he glanced at the grandfather’s clock. “Bugger.”

The two men shared toast and then Spike went to shower. For the rest of the day, they practiced with the graphic programs and watched the newer episodes of Star Wars. They both liked the first three much better.

The gale blew for the next few days, often rattling the windows. When Liam let Mac out, he noticed the snow drifts that the wind had blown against one side of the house. He was glad that he had gotten extra supplies in before the holidays. The power went out for a day and they sat huddled in front of the fireplace amid candlelight. Spike wore sweats and heavy socks and Liam’s bathrobe. His too thin body could not hold heat for very long.
“It always like this in the winter, Liam? How can people live here?” He asked as he wrapped himself up in a blanket.

Liam’s heart clenched. He isn’t going to stay. It’s too cold for him. “I was here last winter and we didn’t have a gale like this. Strong winds but not for days like this.”

They talked and read and Liam taught Spike how to play Scrabble and Monopoly. Liam was again saddened by the Spike’s barren life. When the electricity came back, they celebrated, cooking a big meal of spaghetti and meatballs – Spike’s choice – and spent hours at the computer. Spike was getting better at using the stylus, and Liam was improving at using the scanner in his drawings and at creating a billing system.

Finally, they woke up one morning to find that the gale had ended. They ate, showered and took Mac outside. Spike was amazed at the drifts.

“Never seen snow like this except in that James Bond movie – the one with Halle Berry – um…”

“Die Another Day?” Liam asked.

“Yeah. All that snow and ice. Thought it was fake. Guess not.” He shook his head.

The door to the barn was completely covered and one side of the front porch was piled with snow. As they were investigating, they heard a truck coming slowly up the drive. It was Pat Adams with his snowplow. He waved and hung out of the cab.

“Hey Liam, Spike.”

“Can I get you coffee? Want to come in to get warm?” Liam shouted over the roar of the engine.

“No, thanks. Got several more to do. See ya New Year’s Eve?” Pat asked.

“Hope so.” Liam replied and the man waved again, turned his truck around and plowed back out the drive.

“You don’t have to pay him?” Spike asked.

“I made a hope chest for his daughter. She’s getting married this summer.”

“Barter system, yeah?” Spike replied, no longer shocked by the lack of money exchanged for services.

“Yeah.”

“What’s New Year’s Eve?” Spike asked as they went back inside to get warm.

“Um…big party at the hotel. Pretty much everyone goes I hear.”

“Didn’t go last year?” Spike queried as he glanced at Liam.

“No. Breakfast or Lunch?”

Although it was in his nature to badger until he got a response, Spike had learned not to pursue a topic when Liam didn’t want to answer.

“Want to go into the village, Spike? I need to get out of the house for a while.” Liam asked after brunch.

“Oh Yeah!” Spike exclaimed exuberantly.

They drove down the freshly plowed driveway and out onto the road, which was also clear. “This is amazing. In New York, it took them days, even a week to plow the streets. New York City has over 6,000 miles of streets– that’s more than a drive to California.”

Spike eyes widened. “6,000 miles! How many miles is it to California? When I came East, I couldn’t really keep track.”

Liam’s stomach tightened. “About 3,000.”

Spike nodded as they parked in front of John’s store and went inside. John was ringing up a customer; there was no sign of Amy. After the woman left, John came over.

He smiled. “Out of chocolate, Spike?”

The young man blushed. “Yeah, but we need other stuff too.” He replied a bit defensively. “Where’s Amy?”

John’s lips tightened. “She’s upstairs resting. She fell, got a concussion and broke her arm.”

“Is she okay?” Liam asked, echoed by Spike.

“It’s broken in two places, but Doc says she’ll be okay. Had to take her over to St. Alban’s, fortunately before the gale.”

“How’d it happen?” Spike asked; worry wrinkled his pale brow.

John sighed. “She fell off the ladder. She was stretching to put some boxes away, lost her balance and crashed to the floor.”

“Can we do anything?” Liam asked. “Do you need help in the store?”

John looked at his friend. “Well…”

“John. Come on. Let me…let us help you. What do you need?” Liam demanded.

“I’ve got a huge order to unpack and shelve…you sure?”

“Wouldn’t’ve offered. Where are the boxes?” Spike said as he took off his coat.

For the next several hours, the three men worked together; they talked quietly as they filled the upper shelves. Liam was the tallest, so he straddled the ladder and reached. Spike handed him things and John unpacked.

“Well, guess I’m no longer needed.” A small voice said, startling the men.

They spun around to see Amy, her arm in a cast, one side of her face black and blue, standing in the door of the stairway to the apartment. She smiled at them and John hurried over to her.

“Amy, Doc said you needed to rest.” He admonished.

“Yeah. When Doc says rest, you better rest. Bloke’ll get testy.” Spike responded with a nod of his head and a sweet smile.

Amy smiled at the young man. “Heard voices. It was lonely upstairs.”

John led her to the rocking chair behind the counter. “Sit. Tea?”

“Yes, thanks.”

The four of them shared tea and talked for a while and then John insisted that she go back upstairs.

“Stay with her for awhile, John. We’ll finish.” Liam said.

The rest of the boxes were soon empty, flattened and carried out back. John came down.

Liam smiled. “Finished. When’s the next delivery?”

“Not till next week, but I’ll be fine.” John replied.

“Um…I…I could come in and work till Amy gets better. Liam’ll have to drive me though.” Spike said.

“You wouldn’t mind? Maybe just a few times.” John responded.

“Don’t…don’t want to do the customer thing. I’ll stock, okay?” Spike said quietly.

“That would be great, Spike. Thanks. Won’t need you until after New Year’s, though.”

“Okay. Call Liam. Tell me when to come in.”

Liam and Spike said good-bye and left the store. Liam’s heart was full – of pride and joy. Spike is…he feels...like he belongs. “Hey, want to go to the hotel for a quick dinner?”

“Yeah.” Spike said his eyes sparkling. He loved looking out at the huge lake and he liked the elegance of the old hotel. We okay going in like this?” Spike looked down at his extremely casual clothing.

“No problem. Only the tourists get dressed up here and I wouldn’t think there are many tourists now.”

They ate dinner, talked and admired the beauty of the snow-covered lawn that reached down onto the frozen edge of the huge dark lake.

The next day was New Year’s Eve. Spike spent most of the day at the desk; he worked on his drawings with pencil and India ink. Liam managed to get the back door of the barn open and worked on a few spec pieces for the gallery in Burlington. Around four o’clock they took turns soaking in the huge tub and dressed in their new clothes for the party.

Liam sighed as he looked at Spike. The grey pants fit perfectly, so much softer than his usual black jeans. The deep azure shirt intensified the blue of his eyes and the black suede jacket…touchable. The harsh peroxide had grown out and his light brown hair curled in blonde tips around his head. Spike was always trying to gel the curls straight, but tonight he left it natural. He has no idea how gorgeous he is. That nurse was right – he could be a model…earn lots of money…in New York or LA. He forced his thoughts away and smiled.

Spike returned Liam’s smile and turned away quickly to hide the tightness in his groin. Ponce has no idea how gorgeous he is. That silk shirt on that silky skin…the cashmere pants…Wonder if he’s wearing underwear – those silk ones he has in his drawer. Bollocks…he’s gonna see the hard-on. But the thoughts wouldn’t depart. Wanna wrap my fingers in those dark curls. Wanna lick and kiss that throat…want him to…

“Ready, Spike?”

Liam’s question jolted Spike out of his reverie. He tried to will down his arousal and shifted himself in his pants before he turned around.

“Yeah…haven’t been to a party…well…don’t really remember the last time. Never been out for New Year’s Eve, either. Watched on TV. Think they’ll have…those streamers that come down from the ceiling?”

Once again, Liam’s heart lurched at the lack of experiences Spike had in his young life. I’ll make sure he has…if he stays…maybe we can go to Italy. Haven’t been there…since before David got sick. Florence, Venice, Rome, Michelangelo, da Vinci… He grinned at what Spike’s reaction would probably be. Poncey!

“What’re you grinnin’ at, Liam? Is my hair stickin’ up?” Spike asked as he mashed his hair down with his fingers.

“What? Oh no, Spike. You look…you look perfect. I was just thinking of something that made me smile. Let’s go.”

The hotel was ablaze with lights as they drove into the parking lot. Liam had asked Spike if he wanted to stay in the hotel overnight, but the Spike said he’d rather be home. Home…home!

They entered the large banquet room. Everything was decorated in black and white. Stark white linens with black runners across the middle of every table; flickering white candles on silver trays in the center. Silver and gold confetti was strewn everywhere. Black, white and silver balloons and streamers hovered near the ceiling.

Spike was awed. He’d never seen such a room – except on TV. Knew I was in a sodding fairy tale. Where’s Cinderella? He looked over at Liam and grinned. Sorry Cindy. I got the Prince.

Liam returned his grin with a quizzical look on his face. Spike just waggled his eyebrows and grinned wider. Mrs. Jenkins walked over to them. Both men gave her a hug.

Liam gave her an extra squeeze. “Thank you for the book. It’s…it’s a treasure – first edition. You’re too generous.”

“You should have it. I know you prefer a simple style when you create your pieces. I’m glad you like it.” She patted his face and turned to Spike.

“Missed you, Mrs. Jenkins.” Spike said as his face flushed pink. “That book…thank you…it’s beautiful…never owned anything so beautiful. I’ll take good care of it.”

“You’re very welcome, Spike. I know you like William Blake and I am sure the book has a good home with you.” She smiled and touched his cheek. “I missed you, too. Christmas in Boston with my daughter and her family is lovely, but I don’t like to be away from the island for too long. I never miss this celebration. You’ll save me a dance?” She asked looking from Spike to Liam.

“Not…not really a…dancer. Don’t want to crush your feet.” Spike answered, and flushed a deeper pink.

“You’ll be fine.” The old woman assured him. “Liam?”

He smiled. “Haven’t danced in a while, but I used to. Hopefully I’ll remember.”

Spike stared at Liam; at the glow of his skin in the candlelight. Like to dance with him…press close…not here though. He turned away quickly – another adjustment.

“Hey Liam, Spike.” John called and the two men turned around.

“Amy…you look lovely.” Liam stammered. He had never seen Amy in a dress and this was quite a dress: long, black, and flowing, with a décolletage. Her reddish hair was out of its usual ponytail and hung softly on her shoulders. The doctor, resplendent in a tux, approached them pushing Ann in her wheelchair. Jess walked next to them. Ann was dressed in a billowy silver gown; Jess wore bright red. When she turned to sit at their table, Liam and Spike glanced at each other. The dress was open in a V to her waist.

They sat down at their reserved table. Only the sheriff was absent. He was on duty, but would join them before midnight. Spike looked around the table; his heart swelled. All of these people – Liam’s friends – his friends. They all liked him. They accepted him. They probably don’t all know…about LA. Just the sheriff, the doc and Mrs. Jenkins. Still, the ones who knew about his life before he came to North Hero accepted him anyway. There was no harsh criticism. No yelling. No beatings. He glanced over at Liam who was listening to something Ann was saying. Because of Liam. They trust Liam.

After they had been served the shrimp bisque soup, Spike leaned over to Mrs. Jenkins. “Nowhere near as good as yours,” he whispered and received a smile and kiss on the cheek. He looked at Liam, seated next to Mrs. Jenkins. Liam was…beaming. There was no other word for the joy on his face.

They finished dinner and the band ceased the soft background music and began to ramp it up. Jess leaned toward Spike. “Do you dance, Spike?”

“Um…um…not very well…but…” he stammered.

“Spike, I went to mixers with drunken frat boys who trod on my toes, you can't be any worse.” She grinned, pulled him up to dance, and led the hesitant man onto the dance floor. Spike didn’t embarrass himself; many other men were far worse dancers than he. When a slow dance began, he looked a little uncomfortable.

“Jess, definitely don’t know how to do this.”

“Trust me. I’ll lead you around.”

He did trust her, and he only stepped on her feet once. After that, Spike danced with almost every young woman in the place. When he sat down to rest, a girl would come up to the table and ask him to dance. Although he was tired, he never refused. He was flying! Birds asking me to dance. Birds wanting me! He glanced over at Liam a few times and received a smile and a nod. The other man danced with Jess and Mrs. Jenkins and Amy - despite her broken arm. A few other women asked him to dance as well, but not nearly as many as Spike.

Liam watched Spike spin and dip on the dance floor. He laughed and flirted and had fun. Whenever he would slow dance, he sought Liam’s eye and winked. Liam had to concentrate on the conversation at the table and try to avoid looking at Spike. He is naturally sexy…every woman in this place wants to…be close to him. He’s loving the attention. Liam tamped down the jealousy that flickered dangerously in his mind. He sighed and tried to stop thinking about Spike…about dancing with Spike here in front of everyone; at home in front of the fire with the flames painting his pale face and hair golden. He’s eighteen. I’m almost twenty-nine. I won’t…I can’t do that to him. He has so much to experience. He thinks he’s gay because of his…life. Look at those girls; they’re salivating. Liam stood up suddenly and excused himself. He walked out onto the covered terrace into the cold, determined to stop his thoughts and emotions. But his heart refused to listen, and tears glittered in his eyes. You fool. Why would he want you? Stop it. You’ll…you can’t let him know how you feel. He’ll feel obligated. But then Liam remembered waking up with Spike's mouth on his dick. He’s a confused…kid. He thought that was the way to thank you. He’s not a kid. You were eighteen when you were with David. Spike has led a far more adult life that you had. Liam stood outside for a long time, while thoughts, desires, and fears spiraled in his brain. When he began to shiver from the frigid air, he went back inside.

“Where y’been mate?” Liam was startled to hear Spike’s voice close by. He spun to face the Spike.

“Um…um…got hot…champagne…went outside for some air.”

“Almost midnight. Come on.” Spike said as he grabbed Liam’s hand and pulled him toward the crowd. “Here he is.” The Spike said to the table.

“10, 9, 8…” The band leader began the count and everyone joined in. At the stroke of twelve, the balloons and streamers fluttered to the floor. Spike’s eyes were bright with excitement as he turned to Liam.

“Happy New Year, Liam.” Spike whispered as he hugged Liam. He looked up and tried to blink away the tears that hovered in his brilliant blue eyes. “Never had…thanks, Liam…this…this was more than I ever dreamed.” He rested his head against Liam’s chest.

Liam spoke quietly into Spike’s soft curls. “Happy New Year, Spike. I wish all good things for you in this coming year.” They stayed together for a few minutes, and separated only when Mrs. Jenkins came up to them.

She looked at both of them and touched their cheeks. “Happy New Year. I am so happy that you've come into each other's lives, and I'm fortunate that you’ve both come into mine.”

Liam and Spike said good-night to everyone and went out to the truck. Liam was a little buzzed – both with champagne and happiness. Spike was a little more than buzzed – with champagne, excitement, satisfaction, and happiness.

The girls tonight. Liked you William. Thought your accent was soooo cute! He grinned to himself. Felt good to have someone touching me…touching me…nicely. Just wanted to dance…no demands. He shuddered, recalling scenes from his life on the streets in LA.

Liam saw the shudder out of the corner of his eye. “Cold, Spike? Heater’s up full blast. We’ll be home in a few minutes.”

“No…’m OK. Just a chill.” He answered as he stared out the window. If Liam ever knew…knew everything…he wouldn’t touch me. He sighed raggedly and wiped his eyes. Doc says no diseases. Thought for sure I had somethin’. Liam…only ever with one man? I couldn’t count the number…men, women. He shuddered again.

Liam drove as fast as he dared back to the cabin, worried that Spike’s chill would get worse and the pneumonia would return. It hangs over his head…my head…He’s well…he can’t get sick again.

They arrived at the cabin and both men got out of the truck and went inside. Mac sped out when they opened the door, but was back quickly.

“Hot cocoa, Spike? Tea?” Liam asked.

“Yeah, that honey tea. I’m gonna take off these fancy clothes.” He answered as he walked into the bedroom.

Liam stoked the fire to get it warmer. The cabin had heat, but the gale obviously ripped some of the logs loose. He’d have to ask John who did that kind of work. He handed Spike a mug when he returned to the main room. He had dressed in his sweats and heavy socks, Liam’s robe hanging off his thin frame.

“I’ll change, too.”

Spike was sprawled on the sofa with his eyes closed. Liam covered him with a blanket.

“Not sleepin. Just restin.’ Not used to partying.” Spike spoke without opening his eyes.

Liam smiled. “Yeah, you did party. You were the girls’ favorite partner.”

Spike opened one eye and smirked. “Jealous?”

“What? No…no…just teasing you,” Liam responded, obviously flustered. He got up and hurried into the kitchen, ostensibly to get more tea; in reality to hide his stiffening cock. He stood as he sipped the tea; he willed down his arousal, and turned around when he heard music. Spike was fiddling with the radio, trying to find a station. He stopped, and sounds of I’ll Make Love to You by Boys II Men filled the room.

Spike walked toward Liam, his eyes twinkled, his face aglow with a seductively sweet smile. “Wanted to dance with you tonight, Liam. Dance with me?”

Liam stood rigid for a long moment. Worry, fear, longing, tumbled through his body. He didn’t want to hurt Spike’s feelings…just a dance…just a dance.

Liam began to walk toward Spike and Spike approached him. Their bodies came together and the world went away.

The two men danced. Spike rested his head on Liam’s broad chest and Liam rested his chin on the shorter man’s soft curls. Spike lifted his head and stared for a moment into Liam’s deep, dark eyes. He wrapped his arms around the taller man’s neck and drew Liam’s face down to his. He licked his tongue across Liam’s full lips and then kissed him deeply. Liam moaned. Spike could feel him stiffen and he pressed his body even closer, letting Liam feel his arousal.

Spike forced his tongue into Liam’s mouth and deepened the kiss. He felt Liam’s body stiffen; he pulled away. “Spike…”

Spike held on and stared into his eyes. He placed his thin hands on either side of Liam’s head; it forced Liam to look down at him. He spoke in a rush. “No…I want you, Liam. I…I’ve never wanted anybody. Want you to hold me. Want to fall asleep in your arms. Liam…I…what I feel for you…I’ve never felt before. You…you’re like the…men in movies…who…who love the girl no matter what.” He paused and shook his head, a slight smirk twitching the sides of his mouth. “Never thought it could be real…never thought I’d ever…it’s how I imagined…love…in my fantasies.”

He pressed his fingers to Liam’s lips as Liam opened his mouth to speak. “I need you, only you. I know you think you’re too old for me. But…you’re an innocent compared to me…I’ve…I’ve been with too many men.” He took his hands away and lowered his head. “Too many men…I’m sorry…I wish…” He raised his eyes and Liam saw the tears that glittered in those beautiful blue eyes. “No one…no one ever made me feel like you do…safe, wanted. I want to feel all of you."
 

~Part: 9~
 Emotions raged through Liam’s heart and thoughts flashed through his mind as he stared down at Spike. He saw his luscious mouth curled in a half smile; his sparkling blue eyes tearfully hopeful. Although he fought it, he had longed for a loving relationship, but with Spike? He was surprised by that. He’s ten years younger than I…he’s…his life…does he know how to love, really love? Or does he just want…sex…security? He recalled Spike saying that he used sex to get what he wanted. What does he really want from me? He remembered Spike’s comments about the frigid winter weather on the island and his desire to go to Burlington. Dry Goods! There are no clothing stores, book stores, art stores…there is nothing for him on this island. How long would he stay? He’d go and I…I’d be alone…again.

Liam reached out and stroked Spike’s soft, white skin. He rubbed his thumb across Spike’s sharp cheekbone, finely etched on his slightly flushed face. God…he’s so beautiful…I…need…he said want, not love. I can’t…can he…love…is…is he…too…damaged? Then it hit him all at once. Sure he wanted what was best for Spike, but it went deeper than that. Somehow, in the last few months, Spike had found his way into Liam's heart, which had locked after David's death. God help me, but I …I could love him…maybe…I…can show him…how to love. He has been used so much…his horrific past. I don’t want him to think…to think that all I want…is to use him too.

Spike could read the doubt and fear in Liam’s deep brown eyes. But he also saw the longing. “Liam…”

“No, Spike. Listen. You’ve had a horrible time of it. You’ve been used and abused terribly. I won’t do that to you. Your past is in the past. You deserve a new life. Doing things you haven’t had a chance to do. You deserve that and so much more.”

“But…” Spike pleaded, desperately. Bloody hell! How can I make him understand? I don’t…I don’t understand what…what I’m feeling. Sure he felt lust for Liam, but he was feeling something deeper, too. Something he’d never felt before. Something that made him feel…vulnerable. And he knew only one way to show Liam. Swallowing hard, Spike continued, “I want you. Never wanted anyone before.” He reached for the waistband of Liam’s sweatpants and slid his hand down, searching.

Liam tried to move away, disconcerted by Spike’s actions. As he moved he felt Spike’s warm hand wrap around his already-hardened cock.

Spike smiled when he found it. “You want me, don’t you? I can feel that you want me. Why are you fighting it?”

“Spike, stop it!” Liam reached down and pulled Spike’s hand from his cock. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?” Spike asked seductively. He moved closer to Liam, reaching out for him, trying to draw him down for a kiss.

“This…sex….”

“Not what it is, Liam.” Spike replied. He pouted. He had seen Liam’s reaction when he pouted and he was desperate to get him to stop thinking and just give in to his feelings.

Liam stepped back. “Well, then what is it? You’ve told me you’ve used sex to get what you want…to survive. You don’t have to do that with me. That’s not the way it works. I …I care about you! I’m not going…I’m not one of those men that used you, Spike.

“I know you’re not. Figured that out a while ago. But…You want me. I want you. Where’s the harm?” Spike moved a step closer and put his hand on Liam’s chest. “Make us both feel good.”

Liam clasped Spike’s hand and lowered it from his body. He stared at Spike and spoke softly, willing him to understand what he was trying to say. “Spike, being intimate with someone is so much more than just sex. It’s sharing with another person…a person you care for. It’s more than just sharing your body. It’s so much more. I don’t know…I don’t know if… you understand that…your past…you’re not used to trusting…”

Spike interrupted. “You could show me…please…please show me, Liam. I’m a mess inside. Have all these feelings, churning, eating at me. Am I so…so dirty…so hopeless that you can’t…” His voice broke and he lowered his head. When he looked up at Liam, tears shimmered at the corner of his eyes. “Don’t want you just for sex…but that’s…that’s all I know. Show me…please?”

Liam watched the tears slip from Spike’s eyes and his heart trembled with conflicting emotions. God help me…this is so wrong on so many levels. But his desire to show Spike the difference between having sex and making love and his own longing made him dare to go on. He sighed and put his finger against Spike’s lips. “Hush.” He said as he took his finger from Spike’s mouth and reached for his hand. Turning it over, he kissed the palm lightly and then pulled Spike close to him. He captured the smaller man’s mouth in a gentle kiss and rained feathery kisses on his eyes, his cheeks, his brow, his ear. Spike shivered and Liam felt him harden. The larger man drew back and smiled sweetly. “Slowly, Spike. We have all night.” Liam grasped his long, thin fingers and drew him over to the fireplace. Releasing Spike, he took the blanket from the sofa and knelt down to arrange it in front of the firelight. He looked up and Spike knelt in front of him. Liam took his hand again and kissed each fingertip. Spike closed his eyes and felt a tingling sensation that he never felt before race through his body.

Liam pushed the robe from his shoulders and began to pull the t-shirt up over Spike’s head. Spike groaned and reached for the taller man. Liam smiled. “No.” He leaned over and kissed the smaller man’s ear.

“Liam…”

Again the sweet smile as Liam gently pushed Spike to the floor. He leaned over him and kissed up his chest, sucking a nipple into his mouth. Spike moaned and arched. Liam ignored the movements beneath him and pressed his body across Spike’s. He grabbed the other nipple into his mouth as he placed his large hand over the tented material at Spike’s groin, never taking his lips from Spike’s slender chest.

Spike raised his hips as he felt Liam touch him. He felt like he’d been shocked with an electrical current. His body tingled and he could feel his blood roar through his veins. He felt every beat of his pounding heart. Spike placed his hand on Liam’s head and pushed down, but Liam resisted.

Releasing the pert nub from his mouth, he moved up Spike’s chest, placing tiny kisses along the almost translucent skin until he was looking down at Spike’s finely boned face. “Slowly Spike…we are going to take it slowly. I’m going to show you how beautiful it can be between two people. You don’t have to do anything. Just let me show you.” Liam brought his head down and captured Spike’s lips in a soft kiss. He teased Spike’s mouth with his tongue while he traced his fingers down the side of his face.

Spike whimpered as Liam’s tongue sought entrance. Not used to the tenderness – the deliberate gentleness of Liam’s touches – Spike became very unsure of himself. A bit frightened because he did not know what to do, he tried to take control by shifting; trying to roll over so that he was on top, but Liam wouldn’t let him. He broke off the kiss and stared up at the man above him.

As if he could sense Spike’s tumultuous emotions, Liam looked down and saw the fear clouding his blue eyes. “Spike?”

“I…I…” Spike stuttered.

“You want to stop? Just tell me if you do. We’ll only go as far as you want to go.”

Spike shook his head and mumbled something that Liam couldn’t understand. “What is it, Spike?”

“Don’t want to stop…it’s just that…”

“What is it?”

Spike blushed and looked away. Liam gently took Spike’s chin in his hand and turned his head so that he was looking up at him once more.

“Tell me, Spike. It’s just what?”

“Don’t know what to do. Not used to someone being…being gentle…caring that I…that I enjoy it. Nobody…bothered before.” He sighed and tried to smirk. “Can’t we just get to the shagging part…forget the rest. Don’t understand the reason for it anyway.”

Liam smiled down at him and brushed Spike’s tousled hair from his brow. He searched for the right words; words that wouldn’t hurt. “Spike, this isn’t just shagging as you put it. For me, it’s always much more than. You wanted me to show you…teach you. But if all you want is shagging, then I’m not the man you want.” He leaned in and lightly kissed Spike’s lips, hoping his touch would soften his words. “Let me show you another way.”

Liam caressed Spike’s cheek with his thumb as he waited for his response. He could see the confusion flicker in Spike’s eyes as he tried to process what he had just heard. They stared at each other until Spike finally nodded. He reached up to pull Liam down to him, taking his lips with a hesitant soft kiss of his own.

Liam let Spike take the lead for a bit to show him that sex wasn’t about control or domination. As he felt Spike relax and grow more confident, Liam trailed his hand down the smaller man’s lean body, stopping at the pointed nub of his nipple. He took it between his thumb and index finger, pinching it gently. Spike moaned as they continued to kiss, their tongues doing a slow dance of their own.

Liam grazed his hand over Spike’s heated skin until he reached the waistband on his sweats. Slipping his hand inside, Liam ran his fingers through the coarse, wiry curls and then wrapped his strong hand around Spike’s cock. Slowly he began to stroke the organ and felt it pulsate within his grip. Spike thrust his hips upward as he tried to match the movements of Liam’s hand. As Liam caressed the tip of the cock, he gathered up some of the pre-come and used it as a lubricant.

Spike moaned into Liam’s mouth as he tightly gripped the larger man’s dark brown hair in his fingers. He brought his other hand to the waistband of his sweats, trying to push the garment off.

Panting, Liam broke the kiss. He propped himself up with one hand, and looked at Spike, whose chest heaved in exertion. “Are you sure?”

Spike could only nod as he struggled to get his breathing under control. Suddenly afraid that Liam would change his mind, he grasped the waistband of his sweats and quickly pulled them down. He raised his hips and wriggled until he could kick them off. Liam had to hide a smile at Spike’s determination. He reached for Liam’s pants, trying to get them off, but the other man stopped him.

“No, not yet. This is about you…all about you.”

“But…” Spike tried to reply, but was cut off when a long finger pressed against his lips. He sucked the digit into his mouth and grinned when he heard a quiet moan escape from Liam. He twirled his tongue around the finger, licking it and drawing it deeper into his mouth. Liam shuddered and pulled his finger out. He dragged his hand over the smaller man’s thin body. Suddenly Spike hissed as Liam began to massage his balls.

Liam groaned silently. It’s so warm…so warm. He ran his finger along Spike’s perineum, pressing down gently and smiled when Spike moaned and jerked his hips. He slowly lowered his hand until his finger ghosted over Spike’s entrance. He could feel it quiver and clench under his touch. He circled the opening, but never pressed forward, teasing Spike mercilessly. Finally taking pity on the writhing body beneath him, Liam brought his other hand down and wrapped it around Spike’s engorged cock.

Spike whimpered as Liam continued his seductive torment of his body with his heated, tender touch. “Liam…please…can’t…take…much…more! Need…”

“Tell me Spike, what do you need?”

“Don’t know…Just know I need…Please…not used to…they never…”

Liam understood and decided to end Spike’s sweet torture. Suddenly he stopped. Realization dawned. He had nothing. He hadn’t made love with anyone since David died. And he certainly had no idea this would have happened between the two of them. He removed his hands and drew away from Spike’s body, sitting back on his heels.

Spike propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Liam, uncertain and frightened. “What’s the matter? Why’d you stop? Did I do something wrong?”

Liam looked at the confusion marring Spike’s lovely face. “No, it’s not you Spike. I just realized something.”

“What?” Spike responded, his soft voice tremulous. “Is it me? It’s me, I knew it. You can’t get past what I was?” Spike frantically tried to get up. He wanted to be anywhere, anywhere other than where he was at the moment. I knew it…I knew he…he can’t forget what I was.

Liam reached for Spike. He pressed his powerful hand against the smaller man’s trembling body. “No. You’re wrong Spike. It’s just that…” He felt his face flush and he stammered slightly. “I…I hadn’t planned on this happening. I just realized that I’m…I’m not prepared for this.” When he saw that Spike still didn’t understand what he was trying to say, he continued. “It’s just that I haven’t made love to anyone since David died.” He looked at Spike. He saw hurt and disappointment scarring his face as he tried to push Liam away.

He glared at the larger man and snarled. “David…should’ve known it.”

“Spike! No! It’s not because of David. It’s just that…I don’t have any lube or condoms.” He spoke quietly; a deep blush flooding his cheeks.

Relieved that it wasn’t him or devotion to the dead David that was stopping Liam, Spike chuckled as he reached for the robe that lay in a heap next to him. Liam watched as Spike dipped his hand into one of the pockets of the robe and pulled out a tube of slick and several packets of condoms. Grinning, he held out his hand to Liam, showing him his bounty.

“I weren’t never a boy scout, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to be prepared.”

Liam smiled at the boyish, yet definitely sensual smirk on Spike’s face. “So, you were sure of yourself were you?”

“No, but I hoped.” Spike replied, his eyes bright with excitement.

When Liam didn’t say anything, Spike bit his lip worriedly, his body tense, afraid that somehow he had messed everything up.

Liam noticed how Spike’s body stiffened with tension. He’s so insecure. He can’t believe that someone wants him, not just his body. His eyes twinkled as he took the lube and condoms from Spike’s hand and laid them on the floor. He crawled closer to Spike and took his mouth swiftly in a bruising kiss.

As they kissed, Spike reached down and once again tried to push Liam’s sweats down off his hips. When Liam didn’t try to stop him this time, he became emboldened. He yanked harder and when Liam’s cock popped free of the garment, Spike wrapped his hand around the large, swollen shaft and stroked, gently at first and then more forcefully. Liam moaned deeply and he pressed his lips passionately against Spike’s. As he continued to stroke and kiss Liam, Spike slowly got to his knees. He tried to push Liam onto his back and the larger man didn’t fight him. When he had Liam on the floor, he laid his smaller body over him, pressing his pelvis down against Liam’s.

Spike finally broke the kiss. Sliding slowly down Liam’s body, he paused over his cock. Looking up at Liam, he started to go down, but Liam stopped him.

“No, Spike…this is about you tonight. Remember.”

“But…you make me feel so good. Make me feel things…I’ve… I’ve never felt before. Just want you to feel the same thing.”

“Oh believe me, Spike, I do. Just touching you and watching you respond is all I need.”

“Well, bloody hell…that doesn’t make much sense.”

“I know it doesn’t, Spike. But it will.” Liam sat up and pushed Spike to the floor, dropping a few kisses onto his mouth. He nipped and kissed Spike’s chest as he moved down his body.

Grasping Spike’s hard cock once again, he took it into his mouth. He swept his tongue across the tip, lapping up the fluid that was pooling at the top. He swallowed as he slowly went down on Spike, licking the shaft and wrapping his tongue around the hard organ. He could feel it swell within the confines of his mouth. When he went as far as he could go, he began to bob his head, up and down, sucking deeply and occasionally scraping blunt teeth on one side of the organ.

Spike hissed at the overwhelming sensations. His body shivered with desire. He didn’t know what to do. No one had ever done this to him before. Sure he’d done it plenty of times, but it was quick and emotionless. The johns had never been interested in pleasing him; they just wanted to get off. None of them even thought about him or whether he was enjoying it or not. He was in new territory. He thought he just wanted Liam to fuck him, but he was enjoying what the larger man was doing to him right now, he didn’t want him to stop. He fisted the blanket underneath him as Liam continued to suck on his cock. He felt his balls tighten up and knew he was going to come.

“Liam…please…gonna…gonna…” But before he could get it out, he exploded into Liam’s mouth. He panted as he brought his hand up to wipe the sweat that was threatening to run into his eyes. Embarrassed by his lack of control, he covered his eyes and sobbed.

Liam swallowed and wiped his mouth. Worried, he lay next to Spike, and tried to remove his small hand from his eyes. “Spike…what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, Liam…really I am.” He sobbed.

“Sorry? What do you have to be sorry about?”

“I…I…” Spike hiccupped as he tried to explain, his blue eyes blurred with tears, his skin pearled with sweat. “Didn’t mean to do that….didn’t mean to come in your mouth.”

Liam dropped a kiss to Spike’s lips, a smile of understanding flickering in his eyes. He pushed back the damp hair curling around Spike’s face. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. I wanted you to come.”

“Why?”

“So that when we continue, you'll be more relaxed.

“You weren’t turned-off?” Spike was really confused. His johns never went down on him and some would turn mean if he inadvertently came too soon…would hit him and then just fuck him dry.

“No, Spike, I wasn’t. I loved your loss of control.” Taking Spike’s hand, Liam placed it over his hard cock. “See? It showed me that you weren’t just thinking of me as one of your tricks. That you were enjoying it.” Liam realized that Spike tensed when he said tricks and he bent down and kissed the tip of his nose.

Embarrassed at first to be reminded of his past, Spike was also surprised and relieved that he hadn’t ruined it. He gasped when Liam covered his hand with his larger one, moving them so that that they were both stroking Liam’s cock. Spike felt it thicken even more within his grasp. All of a sudden shy, he sneaked a peak at the large man next to him. Liam had his head thrown back and his eyes tightly closed. He looked like he was enjoying it; a tiny smile twitched at the corner of his full lips.

Liam opened his eyes, smiled and quirked his eyebrow. Spike nodded and returned the smile. Liam’s hands were shaking and he struggled to get the condom out of the foil and onto his shaft. When that was done, he picked up the tube of slick and looked over at Spike. His mouth opened in shock. Spike was on all fours, waiting…his small body shuddering almost violently. Liam didn’t know if he was trembling in fear or in anticipation.

He put the tube down, and reached out for Spike. He felt the body jolt as he made contact. “Spike? What are you doing?”

He looked puzzled as he turned his head around. “Doing? I’m…getting ready.” He tried to keep the trepidation out of his voice.

“Not like this!” Liam placed a gentle hand on Spike’s back and helped him to turn around so that the he was facing him. He bent down to touch his lips to Spike’s cheek. “I want to watch you, and I want you to watch me.”

Spike swallowed hard. Someone would think I’m a bloody virgin I’m so nervous!

Liam ran his fingers along Spike’s jaw when he saw the nervousness play across his flushed face. It touched him deeply. He gently pushed Spike back down on the blanket and kissed him, trying to get him to relax. “Relax Spike. Let me show you…how to make love – slowly.”

He took the tube of slick and flipped the lid, squeezed the fluid out into his hand and fingers, and coated his covered shaft. He reached for Spike’s cock and began to stroke, sensuously and rhythmically, feeling it come back to life in his hand. Liam then trailed his fingers down across Spike’s balls until he reached his pucker. It quivered beneath his touch. He circled it with his finger, before inserting it slowly, inch by inch until it was fully embedded in the tight passage. He moved it around, stretching him and making sure to occasionally scrape his nail gently across the spongy mass buried deep within Spike’s channel. When he hit it the first time, Spiked arched and groaned. Liam slowly pulled out his finger and inserted a second and then a third. He moved them gently and watched the pleasure flood Spike’s flushed face as he writhed and moaned.

His own cock cried out for release and Liam removed his fingers from Spike. He positioned himself between Spike’s legs and lifted them up, placing them over his shoulders. He lined his cock up with Spike’s entrance and pressed forward slowly until he was fully seated within him. Electricity bolted throughout his body and the desire to move almost overwhelmed him. But he knew this wasn’t about him, this was about Spike. He wanted Spike to know what it meant to make love – tender, passionate, love.

When he felt that he had himself under control, Liam moved unhurriedly within Spike’s channel. He watched his beautiful face as confusion and uncertainty melted away and passion took over. Spike began to move with Liam, begging and pleading with him to go faster. Liam ignored him and continued to love Spike slowly. He wanted to draw this experience out…to make it last, but it had been so long for him and watching Spike respond to him was too much.

Tenuously holding onto his control, Liam stilled. He stayed seated within the smaller body beneath him, but drew Spike's legs off his shoulders and wrapped them around his waist. He leaned down and took Spike’s stiffened cock back into his hand and stroked it.

“Spike, open your eyes….look at me.” He smiled when the blue eyes burning with desire looked up at him. He kept his eyes on Spike as he continued to move within him. His hands on Spike’s cock matched the rhythm of his thrusts.

Spike continued to stare at Liam, lost in the sea of emotions screaming through his body. Spike grabbed hold of Liam’s broad shoulders as he wrapped his legs tighter around the larger man’s waist. He could feel it all, Liam moving inside him, his own balls tightening as if a rubber band squeezed them. He never closed his eyes. He kept them glued to Liam’s face, amazed at the intensity of need blazing in his dark eyes. Suddenly his entire body shuddered and he came all over Liam’s hand.

As Spike erupted, Liam could feel the other man’s muscles clench around his cock forcefully. Liam’s impassioned body quivered and he came in a frenzied rush as he burrowed his face into Spike’s neck. He kept thrusting inside of Spike, one…two…three more times until he was totally spent…physically and emotionally. He lay on top of Spike, still buried inside him, trying to slow down his heart, trying to catch his breath. He honestly hadn’t thought it could be this way with anyone other than David.

Abruptly, Liam shook himself out of his musings when he felt the body beneath him trembling. He slowly eased himself out of Spike’s body. He removed the used condom and tossed it into the pail next to the fireplace. He looked down, worried when he saw that Spike was crying.

“Spike, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing…it’s just…” Spike couldn’t talk, he was too overcome with powerful emotions; he couldn’t stop the tears. His brain couldn’t comprehend what had just happened.

Moving to his side, Liam gathered Spike into his arms tenderly stroking up and down his back. Spike collapsed against him, his body still shaking. “It’s just what?”

Spike gulped and spoke, his voice shaking as he burrowed into Liam’s chest. “Didn’t know…it could be like that. Feel like that. Makes…makes what I did seem…bloody awful. How…how you can be so nice to me? How can you not be disgusted by me?”

Liam held the slender body closer and whispered. “Shh…it’s okay Spike. What you did in the past is of no consequence. You have to understand that. You did what you had to do. You survived the only way you knew how.” Liam continued his soft soothing words as he kissed Spike’s head and gently stroked the length of Spike’s spine. The shivering quieted after a short while and he glanced down at Spike’s face. He had fallen asleep; his dark eyelashes making shadows on his white cheeks.

Liam reached over to the couch and pulled the other blanket toward him, making sure they were both covered. He pulled Spike into the crook of his neck and tightened his arms around him. Liam dropped a kiss onto his temple and joined Spike in an exhausted sleep.

Spike woke, at first puzzled by the powerful arms enfolding him. Then he remembered and smiled. Slowly he slipped from Liam’s grasp and lay on his side watching the larger man sleep. Spike gazed at his face and memorized the curve of his lips; his skin burnished gold in the firelight, the brown curls tumbled over his brow. His heart was bursting with a feeling he had never experienced before he came to North Hero and met Liam – pure joy. He was safe and warm and…loved? These emotions were so new…confusing…and…terrifying. This wasn’t his life…the tenderness, the concern. Liam had made love to him; had made sure he …was satisfied. A symphony of feelings and thoughts thrummed through his body and he was happy and…scared. Scared to make a mistake…to do something to make Liam…not want him.

Liam’s eyes fluttered open and he was momentarily disoriented. He felt good…happy. He turned his head and saw Spike smiling at him and he remembered. He rolled over and the two men stared at each other in silence for a few moments. Liam stretched and hissed.

“You okay?” Spike asked, his brow wrinkled in concern.

Liam winced and smiled. “Back’s stiff. Not used to sleeping on the floor.”

“Yeah. You’re used to feather beds and soft sheets, ponce.” Spike said with a smirk.

Liam growled and rolled closer, captured Spike in his arms and then smacked his ass with one hand.

“Ow…that hurt!”

Liam released him and drew back. He watched Spike pout and he felt stirring in his groin. Spike grinned wider and waggled his eyebrows. “Can’t resist me, Liam. Got power over you.”

Liam returned the grin, stretched his arms above his head and groaned. “I need to let the shower get the kinks out.” He glanced toward the grandfather clock. It was close to 10 o’clock. He sat up. Spike stayed where he was, his hand resting on Bella, who had sauntered over and flopped on the blanket by his side.

“I think I’ll get a bath. You go.” Spike said.

Liam laughed. “And you call me a ponce. I’m gonna have to buy more bubble bath. You used almost all of it.” He jumped up and somehow managed to keep himself covered with the blanket. Spike pulled a pillow from the sofa and tossed it at Liam. He tried to glare but he was laughing.

After Liam showered, Spike took his turn. When he came out into the kitchen, Liam was cooking. The men sat down to eat breakfast.

“We’re supposed to be at Mrs. Jenkins’ around three, Spike. I have to start making the lasagna as soon as I finish.”

“Who else is gonna be there?”

“The doc, Tom Hanson, John and Amy, Ann and Jess.” Liam replied.

“The usual suspects, huh?” Spike grinned.

“Yeah. We seem to have formed a little family of sorts.” Liam answered quietly.

Spike didn’t answer. He finished eating and took his plate into the kitchen. “Need me to help with the…the lasagna?”

“Yeah. Can you get out the pasta pot?”

Spike laughed out loud. “Pasta pot. You are a right ponce, Liam. Having a pot just for pasta.” Liam opened his mouth to answer and Spike interrupted, smiling broadly. “I know. I know. You’re Italian, it’s required.”

He laughed at the look on Liam’s face and bent down to find the large pot. When he stood up, something soft hit his head. Liam had thrown a dish towel at him. Spike laughed again and tossed the towel back. “Ponce.” He said and turned to fill the pot with water.

Liam showed Spike the intricacies of lasagna making. He then showed him how to mince garlic and mix it with butter, sweet basil and oregano and spread it on loaves of Italian bread. When they were finished, they sat in front of the fire and watched some college football. Spike was becoming more knowledgeable about the game. He cared about it since he now knew that Liam had played the game, and that he was good enough to get a football scholarship to college.

“Hey, Liam. You got one of those football jerseys?”

A shadow flickered over the other man’s face. “Yeah. On a shelf in the closet.”

Spike had seen the shadow, but continued. “What was your number?”

“Seven. I was a quarterback.”

As they watched the game, Liam explained about the numbering system; lower numbers for quarterbacks and running backs; the higher numbers for lineman. Spike had played football, or what American’s call soccer in the schoolyard when he was kid in Liverpool, but had had no athletic training since he’d never gone to high school in California.

Spike, Liam and Mac arrived at Mrs. Jenkins with a huge baking dish of lasagna and two loaves of garlic bread; the powerful aromas blending together in a mouthwatering concert.

There’s enough food for a football team. Spike thought to himself as he saw the table laden with various kinds of food. Each guest had brought something appropriate to his or her nationality. Amy had made onion soup with a recipe from John’s French grandmother and lebkuchen, her German grandmother’s recipe for spice bars. Mrs. Jenkins had made the English dish, Beef Wellington and a chocolate mousse cake especially for Spike. Doc Clayton had brought colcannon, a potato casserole from Ireland, and Tom Hanson - the sheriff – brought a squash casserole and cranberry bread in honor of his Abenaki Native American heritage. There were American vegetables – buttered carrots, green beans and candied sweet potatoes and baked stuffed haddock in honor of the long fishing tradition of New England.

They said grace and toasted the New Year with champagne. Liam and Spike glanced at each other as they lifted their glasses. They both blushed and had to shift in their seats as their groins stiffened. Liam smiled and Spike grinned back. Mrs. Jenkins beamed as she looked around the table. Her house was full of guests.

During the meal, Liam and the sheriff gave much of their attention to Ann, who glowed with happiness. Spike sat next to Jess and she talked about college. She had originally gone to Boston College, but had to leave to take care of her mother. This spring, she was going to take classes at the Community College of Vermont in St. Alban’s about forty-five minutes away. She would also be taking some online courses at the University of Vermont in Burlington. She told Spike about the many art classes offered at the community college and at the university and encouraged him to apply. Spike flushed and mumbled that he would look into it. He didn’t tell her that he had never been to high school.

Spike looked up to find Liam watching him, his eyebrow quirked in question. Spike just shook his head and looked away to talk to Mrs. Jenkins. Liam was concerned. Spike’s shoulders had been rigid and he looked uncomfortable and embarrassed. What could Jess have said to him?

Everyone helped clear the table. The men hung around a bit until Mrs. Jenkins pushed them out.

“I know you all want to watch football. We’ll make coffee and be in shortly. We still have all those deserts to sample.”

“I don’t think I can eat anything else.” Doc Clayton said.

“There’s always room for desert, doc.” Amy replied. She turned to Spike. “You won’t resist Mrs. Jenkins’ chocolate mousse cake will you?”

Spike and everyone else laughed. Spike’s devotion to all things chocolate was widely known. Liam joined in the laughter and felt warm inside. Spike has to feel like he belongs. He does. He belongs here.

Liam and Tom went outside to carry more wood from the barn to the back porch and Spike joined them to help and toss the ball for Mac. When they returned, Mrs. Jenkins had set up a game of Scrabble and the women were seated around the table. Spike sat next to Mrs. Jenkins. Liam had been teaching him how to play, but he wasn’t secure in his spelling abilities, so he wanted to watch and learn. He was tired from all the food and champagne, but he was happy and didn’t want the day to end. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s – he had celebrated every holiday with his new friends. His heart was so full. He still had trouble believing that these people wanted him around; that he belonged. It was almost too much and he sometimes wondered when his new life would crumble and he’d be back on the streets. He glanced at Liam who was talking animatedly with the other men about the football game. Liam must have felt his stare because he looked over and winked at him. A flood of warmth coursed through Spike’s slender body.

A while later they sat back at the table and had desert, coffee, tea and liqueurs. Liam had brought Amaretto and there were several other liqueurs served, as well. Spike sampled every one. He decided that his favorite was Bailey’s.

Liam and Spike drove back to the cabin. Both of them were happily exhausted.

“Don’t think I can eat another thing for a week.” Spike grumbled. “Clothes aren’t gonna fit.”

“Guess you won’t want the rest of the chocolate cake that Mrs. Jenkins sent home then?” Liam asked with a smirk.

Spike glared but couldn’t hide the twitching at the corners of his mouth. “Maybe in a day or two.”

“I’m gonna make chamomile tea, Spike. It helps soothe my stomach. Want some?” Liam asked.

“Yeah, gonna get undressed first.” He answered as he walked toward the bedroom.

Liam handed him the tea and went to get changed. When he returned, Spike was sprawled on the sofa with Bella in his lap and Mac flopped across his feet. Again a warm glow filled Liam’s heart - he and Spike and the animals, all together in the cabin.

“Spike, are you awake? Do you want me to build up the fire or do you just want to go to bed.” Liam asked.

He opened one eye. “Too tired to move. Maybe I’ll just sleep here.”

“It’ll get too cold in the night. Can’t let the fire burn while we’re asleep. Come on, old man, I’ll help you up.” Liam said with a smile.

Spike opened his other eye. “Old man, huh? Who was whining about his aching back this morning?” He said grinning as he stood up. His face grew serious and he spoke quietly. “Liam…sleep in the bed with me? Don’t…we don’t have to…just sleep…so your back won’t hurt.” He lowered his eyes, terrified that Liam would refuse and confused as to why it meant so much to him.

Liam stood quietly for a long moment. He wanted to sleep with Spike; wanted to hold him but…is it too much too soon for both of us? We need to take this very slowly. He’s still…

Liam sighed and put his hand on Spike’s shoulder. “Okay…just sleep. You go. I’ll tamp down the fire and come in.”

Spike nodded and he and Bella strolled toward the bedroom. Liam let Mac out and fixed the fire. The dog barked and he let him in. When the animal saw the fire was gone, he turned and sauntered into the bedroom, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. Pajama party, huh? His heart clenched. He wasn’t certain whether it was joy or fear.

He walked into the dark bedroom. Mac was lying across the foot of the huge four-poster bed. Bella was pressed against the crook of Spike’s knee and he…he lay on his side; hands tucked under his cheek, mouth slightly open. Liam stood and watched him sleep. He hesitated. He’s already asleep. Should I…should I just go sleep on the mattress? Will he be hurt if I don’t sleep here? Will this…? Liam sighed. He had been sleeping alone for a long time. It would be nice to be in bed with someone again. He drew back the covers and slid in next to Spike, who groaned and turned onto his other side. He whispered something in his sleep but Liam couldn’t hear what he said. Liam reached out and touched the bare skin on Spike's arm. Spike suddenly jerked away and muttered, "No…No," in his sleep. Liam bit his lip and his eyes filled with tears as he tried to imagine the horrific memories that clouded Spike's dreams. Liam shuddered. Who had he last been with? Will either of us be able to forget Spike's past? He pulled the blankets over them. He lay thinking, worrying, remembering for a long time. Finally, sleep shoved away all his thoughts.

Liam woke suddenly from an erotic dream. When he opened his eyes, he saw why. Spike was lying across his legs, sucking his cock and massaging his balls. Sensing Liam was awake, Spike looked up.

“Spike…you don’t…don’t have to.” Liam stammered.

Spike took his mouth away and Liam struggled not to groan. He needed release!

“Not doin’ it cause I have to. Want to. Wanted to for a long time. Please?” He said, his eyes blazing with passion; his face flushed with desire.

Liam didn’t answer for a long minute. Is this right? Am I…he has had so much hurt. Will this make things worse for him?

As he was thinking, he watched Spike’s face begin to crumple. He thinks I’m rejecting him! He reached out to Spike and nodded his head. Spike smiled and devoured his cock.
 

~Part: 10~
Spike awoke slowly, the last threads of his dream on the outer edges of his mind. He yawned as he stretched to remove the kinks from his body. The figure next to him shifted and Spike glanced over at Liam. He smiled as he remembered the events of the previous night. No one had ever taken such care with him. No one had been as gentle, tender or loving as Liam had been. He frowned as he compared last night to what he had done in his past and what had been done to him.

Spike rolled over to his side and watched Liam. He watched the rise and fall of his broad chest. He stared at his beautiful face; his dark lashes casting shadows on his creamy skin. He longed to touch him, but didn’t for fear of waking him. He wasn’t quite ready to face Liam – so many thoughts and questions raced through his mind. He had to digest them, so he lay there, his head propped in his hand and continued to watch as the man who had turned his world upside down slept.

He looked over Liam’s shoulder at the clock sitting on the table next to the bed. It was 9:00. Suddenly, his stomach grumbled. Yawning again, he got up and made his way to the bathroom. He took a quick shower, his mind still going over the events of last night. He couldn’t stop smiling. He was happy, but underneath that happiness there was fear and worry. What if when Liam woke up, he was horrified with what had happened? What if he decided that he changed his mind, and didn’t want Spike with him anymore? He knew that Liam still had a lot of grief and guilt about David’s death. Liam deserved happiness. Spike wanted to make Liam as happy as he had made him.

After he brushed his teeth and ran his fingers through his hair, he walked back into the bedroom. Quietly taking them from the hook on the closet door, he slowly slid on a pair of jeans, leaving the top button undone. He looked up and saw that Liam was still asleep, but he had moved while Spike was in the shower. Liam was now lying where he had been, his muscular arms hugging the pillow tightly. He grinned and hoped that Liam was hugging him in his dreams. He shivered as he remembered the gentle touches and the amazing sex of the previous night.

Wanting to do something for Liam, he left the sleeping man, and headed for the kitchen. Mac was dancing around so he let him outside. Bella meowed and wound herself through his legs. He grinned down at her. “Breakfast, girl?” He filled the animals’ bowls and let Mac in when he barked. Domestic ain’t ya, William! He smiled to himself again and then a shadow swept across his face as he remembered life with his mother. Anger began to flame and he struggled to push it away. He turned his mind away from his past and remembered the joy of last night.

He figured that Liam would be up soon, since he wasn’t one to stay in bed and sleep the morning away, so he decided to surprise him with breakfast. He watched Liam do it enough times. How hard could it be?

He went to the fridge, and pulled out some eggs and bacon. He placed them on the counter, and took out a bowl, whisk, and a frying pan. He put the bacon in the pan and turned on the burner. As he cracked the eggs, he tried to catch all of the shells that seemed determined to fall into the bowl. Sighing, he blew away a curl that had fallen into his eyes. Liam never gets shells in the bowl. Going back to the stove, he poked at the bacon, turning it over. It was kind of black on one side, but Spike just shrugged. Sure to be crispy now. He tried to remember how Liam made the coffee. He poured in the water and dumped in the coffee grounds until it looked like enough. He put a few slices of bread into the toaster, and then went to set the table while the bacon finished cooking. He returned to the stove, and lifted the bacon out of the pan and put the slices on a plate. He dumped the egg mixture into the pan, and waited for it to begin to sizzle.

Liam woke to noises coming from the kitchen and the smell of burnt bacon. He looked at the clock and saw that he had slept much later than usual. He got up and rummaged through his drawers for a clean pair of sweats. I really have to do laundry. Dressed, he walked out into the living area. The scene in the kitchen brought him up short. He leaned against the wall and watched, with a smile, as Spike puttered around the kitchen, taking in the bare back and rounded ass in the blue denim. Shaking his head to clear the lustful thoughts, he cleared his throat.

Spike spun around surprised. With a tentative, almost bashful smile, he greeted Liam. “Morning, Liam. Made you breakfast.”

“I see. Thank you. You been up long?” He stood up straight and walked over to the table, flashing a huge smile at Spike. He pulled out a chair and sat down.

“About an hour.” He put the plate of burned bacon on the table. He turned around and grabbed the coffee pot and poured Liam a cup.

Liam took a sip of his coffee and grimaced. Although he rarely ate it, he reached for the plate of bacon as Spike returned to the table with the eggs, scrambled and slightly burned. Liam smiled at Spike’s efforts. He took a few slices of the burned bacon, and some toast.

Spike handed the plate of eggs to Liam as he sat down. As Liam spooned some of them onto his plate, he couldn’t help but notice the shells. He grinned in his head and ignored them. He would do nothing that would hurt Spike’s feelings, and he filled his plate and proceeded to eat, making sure to tell him how delicious it was.

Spike knew Liam was lying as he looked at the spread on the table, but was grateful all the same. He smiled at Liam, and joined him in eating, stopping often to take bits of shell out of his mouth. Domestic hah! Your cooking could kill someone!

Neither man said much. Neither of them was sure what to say.

Spike broke the silence. “So what’s the plan for today?” Spike asked.

“Well, I need to finish a project in the barn, so I’ll probably be down there for a few hours. How about you?”

“Gonna play on the computer. Practice with the stylus.”

Wiping his mouth with the napkin, Liam pushed away from the table and carried his plate and cup to the sink.

“You go, I’ll wash up. Got anything for the wash?” Spike asked.

“Yeah, I do. I’ll bring it out. Guess I’d better get going. Thanks for the breakfast, Spike. It was great.”

Liam knew he should probably talk to Spike about last night, but tumultuous emotions were coursing through his body, and he had to do some thinking by himself before he broached the subject with Spike. Never really sure how he’ll react.

As he was exiting the kitchen, Spike spoke up. “Liam?”

He turned around, “Yes?”

Spike looked at him nervously, “Ah…nothing.”

“Okay.” Liam went to the bathroom, took a quick shower and returned to the bedroom to dress. He carried out all of his dirty clothes and put them in the laundry. “Sure you don’t mind doing it all?”

“No, you go ahead.” Spike replied.

Liam smiled and nodded and headed out to the barn, Mac at his heels.

As soon as he heard the door shut, Spike began to gather up the breakfast dishes. He cleaned up the kitchen and then started a load of laundry. Still tryin’ to be sodding domestic, William? He laughed as he walked over to the couch and threw himself down onto the soft cushions. Bella immediately joined him. He began to pet her. Suddenly his happiness evaporated and he nibbled his bottom lip nervously as he thought. Liam seemed kinda distant. Was he regretting last night? Nervous and afraid, he got up and started to pace across the room. He wanted to go down to the barn and talk to Liam, but he wasn’t used to talking about things like this and he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to. He really wasn’t sure what to say. Needing a distraction, he turned on the computer and began his search for facts about American history.

Once he was in the barn, Liam tried to get some work done, but he just couldn’t concentrate. He felt guilty for brushing off Spike, but he didn’t want to talk just yet, so many conflicting thoughts were running through his head. After he made a few stupid mistakes, he decided not to work, and went to sit down. Last night was wonderful and the depth of his feelings surprised him. When he took Spike in, he certainly didn’t expect this. Didn’t expect to develop such powerful feelings for him. He felt guilty because he allowed his feelings to overwhelm him. Spike’s so…did last night…was it what he needed? He wanted it but…does he really know what he wants? Does he feel obligated? Is this his way of…thanking me for taking him in? God, is that all it is? He felt fear like ice shards in his gut…fear that Spike would end up leaving…fear that Spike’s past would catch up to both of them. Sure, his test came back negative, but he knew that Spike would need another one in about six months. What if the initial result was wrong. What if he got sick…got AIDS? He’d suffer and…die. Liam shuddered and he felt tears pooling in his eyes. I can’t go through that again. I can’t watch someone I…care about…die.

The guilt over David’s death assaulted him again. The fear…the resentment that David had gotten sick, and it was up to him to take care of him…the guilt for wishing he’s just die and be done with it - then his wish was granted. David died, and he’d been running from the memories and burying the anguish deep inside of him, running as far as he could. He was successful for the most part…that is until Spike came along. There was so much that Spike could accomplish. He was only 18. The world and his future were open to him. Despite anything else, Liam would see that he embraced a new life. But what if while taking his first steps, he just ran and kept running, leaving Liam behind. He had gotten used to Spike being around. He didn’t think he could take being alone again.

A knock on the barn door brought him abruptly out of his reverie. “Liam?” The door opened. Liam stood quickly, brushing away the tears glistening in the corner of his eyes.

“Yes, Spike?”

“It’s noon. You about done? Thought I'd get you for lunch.” Spike stepped through the door.

“Yes, I’m done for the day. Go on back to the house and I’ll be up in a few minutes.”

“Okay.”

Liam hung back for a few minutes, gathering his composure before heading to the house.

As the two of them ate the soup Spike had heated, Liam asked him what he had done with his morning. Spike told him that he played on the computer. He wanted to ask Liam about setting up an email account. He found several sites that had drawings and poems that he liked and they all provided an email address for feedback. But things were a bit off between them this morning. He thought it best to wait.

They finished their lunch in silence and cleaned the table. Liam was about to talk to Spike about continuing his schooling when he was interrupted by the phone ringing. He got up to answer. It was Ann; she had spoken to her brother about Spike. She had information and invited them to her house. Liam agreed and hung up the phone. How am I gonna tell Spike about this? Will he be angry? Will he understand that this is important for him?

Liam turned and walked back to the kitchen. Spike was spreading his papers, pens and inks across the table, preparing to spend the afternoon drawing.

“Spike.”

Spike lifted his head. “Yeah?”

Liam swallowed and sat down. “Spike, I asked Ann about school for you.”

Spike’s face flushed and his hand tightened on the pen. “Not smart enough for ya, huh, Liam. You with your MF whatever.” He stood up quickly and the chair fell over. “Not goin’ to school with sodding little kids.” He stalked away from the table toward the back door, not bothering to pick up the chair.

Liam hurried after him and grabbed his arm. “No, no. You can get a GED. Ann will teach you at her house.”

Spike stiffened when Liam touched his arm. He looked up and the larger man saw moisture in Spike’s eyes. Liam released his arm.

“Never good enough. Never bloody good enough.” Spike said softly as he struggled with his emotions.

“Spike.” Liam reached for Spike, but the other man turned and stepped away. God, he…he’s…he’s so quick to anger. Is…will he always be like this?

“Damnit, Spike, will you listen?” Liam growled.

Startled at Liam’s tone, he stopped and spun around and snarled. “Tryin’ to change me? Want me to be like you, ponce?” His voice cracked and he turned away. “Never be like you. Thought…thought you…liked me…”

Liam put his hands on Spike’s shoulders and stepped close to him. It was the first physical contact between the two of them since the previous night. He spoke quietly into Spike’s soft hair. “Spike, I don’t want to change you. You…you’re amazing the way you are…but, you’re really smart. Mrs. Jenkins always tells me how quickly you pick things up and how intuitive your comments are. It wasn’t your fault that you weren’t able to go to school. I want you to have the opportunity. I…I don’t want you ever to feel…that you don’t measure up because you didn’t go to school.”

He rested his chin on Spike’s head and they stood there quietly for a long moment.

Inside, Spike’s emotions raged. Anger…fear…rejection…need…despair. Memories crashed together in a frenzy. He felt his heart break. Liam…always lies…never good enough…cowering in a closet so the bigger boys wouldn’t thrash him, rip his books…mock his drawings…taunt his scrawny body…his father…beatings…stealing money to buy pencils and a sketchbook…hiding them…his mother…beatings when he stayed too long at school...his teacher…Mr. Warren…so nice…giving him books…then…touching him…always touching him until he left school… He shuddered suddenly and Liam tightened his grip on his shoulders. Mrs. Jenkins reading with him…talking with him about poets…loaning him her beautiful books…telling him how smart he was…admiring his drawings although he knew she was troubled by them…Liam…buying him inks and paper…Liam. He sighed and leaned back against the larger man.

“I know…Want to know stuff. Don’t want to be stupid. Don’t want to embarrass you.” He spoke quietly.

Liam turned him around so that they faced each other. He traced his fingers down the side of Spike’s flushed face. “Don’t ever think that…you don’t embarrass me. I just want you to have what you should have had. I don’t want you to waste that creative brain of yours.”

Spike’s blue eyes blurred with tears. Liam pulled him close and kissed his head. Spike leaned in and rested his body against the larger man’s. They stood that way for several minutes, until Mac danced around them and barked to go out. They separated and grinned at the dog.

“Think I’ll go out with Mac, toss the ball.” Spike said.

“I’ll come with you. I want to check the cabin to see exactly where the wind damage is. Jack Hodges is coming to give me an estimate.” Liam replied.

A few hours later Liam, and a very nervous Spike road over to the dry goods store. Ann and Jess lived in an apartment in the back. The bell tinkled over the door when they walked in and Jess looked up from her book.

“Hey, Liam, Spike.” She smiled at them. “Mom’s in the back. I’ll take you.”

They walked into the apartment. Ann was in her wheelchair at the table. Piles of books and papers lay strewn over the top. She looked up and grinned.

“Hi. Come sit.”

As they did, she continued to speak to both of them. “I found out exactly what’s required for a GED.” She glanced at Spike and noticed the stiffness in his posture. “You need to take a few tests, so I know where you are.” She reached out to the slender younger man, touched his arm and stared at him. “Spike, you have no idea how excited I am. I miss teaching. You’re giving me the opportunity to do again what I love.”

Liam held his breath. He hoped what Ann said would relax Spike.

Spike offered a tiny smile. “Can’t have you missin’ what you love, Ann. Gotta warn you. I…haven’t been in school since I was fourteen and…and…didn’t go much after I turned twelve. Hung out on the street.”

“Mrs. Jenkins told me how smart you are, Spike, so don’t worry about anything. How about you come tomorrow afternoon? We’ll get some of the tests out of the way.”

Spike nodded and he and Liam stood up. Ann touched Spike’s slender hand. Her eyes were moist and she spoke in a whisper. “You…you have no idea…this means a lot to me. I…I won’t feel…feel so useless.” She attempted a smile and then turned her chair and wheeled quickly into another room.

The two men stood there silently. Jess had come in from the store and stood next to them. Her voice was thick with emotion. “Mom feels like a burden. She hates that I left school to come home.” She turned to Spike and gripped his hand. Her eyes glistened. “Working with you will…she needs this. Thank you.”

Spike nodded and mumbled. “’S okay. I need help.”

The two men walked out of the apartment and the store.

“Want to go to the hotel for dinner, Spike?”

Spike didn’t answer at first and Liam’s stomach clenched. Finally, he spoke. “Yeah. Guess we should stop at John’s, get me a regular notebook.”

Liam sighed and relaxed. They bought some notebooks and pens and pencils and then went to dinner. It was a quiet evening. Both men spent much of their time looking out at the dark lake. Nerves and tension stilled their speech.

When they arrived home, Mac greeted them, but Spike didn’t ruffle his fur as he usually did. He took off his coat and walked over to the table. He cleaned up his art materials and put them away.

“Gonna take a shower, okay?”

“Of course.” Liam answered.

“Can we watch that movie…Lord of the Rings again?” Spike asked still not looking directly at Liam.

“Sure.”

Later, they sat together on the sofa to watch the film. Bella curled next to Spike and he rested his hand on her fur. Spike was quiet. He didn’t make comments about the scenes or ask questions as he usually did. He fell asleep halfway through the movie. Liam covered him with a blanket and watched him sleep for several minutes; he longed to brush the hair out of Spike’s eyes. Did this…does he think I’m…does he think I’m rejecting him? Will this…will this damage…what we have started between us? Liam tamped the fire and turned off all but one of the lights. He took Mac out. Spike was still asleep when he returned; he sighed and walked into the bedroom. He climbed into the large, half-empty bed. He had slept alone for a long time, but the emptiness next to him kept him awake for hours. Spike never came to bed.

Spike woke; his stomach was growling. Liam was gone. Everything was quiet. He stood up and went into the kitchen. He didn’t eat much of his dinner but now he was a little hungry. He made himself some toast and tea and sat back on the sofa. School. She’ll find out I’m a bloody idjit. Everyone will know. They’ll be sorry for Liam…got himself a sodding stupid idjit livin’ with him. Bollocks, William… should’ve known…never good enough. He sat there, tears flooding his cheeks. Sudden hope flared and then quickly flickered out. Maybe…she said…said she missed teaching. Maybe…maybe I’ll pass the sodding tests. Yeah, right…bloody fool, William…fuckin’ bloody fool.

He lay down on the sofa and sobbed himself into a troubled sleep.

Both men walked on eggshells around each other the next day. Spike didn’t eat breakfast. He sat at the table but worked intently on his drawings. Liam didn’t really know what to say.

“Is your back okay, Spike?” Liam said. Lame!

Spike looked up at him, a puzzled frown on his face.

“I know the sofa’s not that comfortable for long term sleeping.”

“’S All right.” Spike replied in a mumble and quickly lowered his head.

Liam finished his breakfast and showered. When he came out, Spike was still sitting at the table, pen held tightly in his hand, head down over the paper. “I’m going out to the workshop for a while. Have to work on the wedding chest for Pat Adams’ daughter.”

Spike didn’t look up, just nodded his head. Liam sighed and went out of the cabin; Mac galloped beside him. When Liam was gone, Spike relaxed his coiled body a bit, although tension spasmed in his neck and shoulders. I’ll never pass those sodding tests. Could pass art maybe. Not maths or spelling! Bollocks! Sodding stupid…what’s the square root of six million, Spike? He jumped up and prowled around the room. Suddenly the cabin seemed too small; too much like a cage. He pulled on his coat and went out to the front porch; far away from Liam. Liam…couldn’t… couldn’t you just be happy with ME? He stood for a long time until the frigid air permeated his bones and he began to shiver. Stupid sod! Want to get pneumonia again. Liam would probably leave you in hospital this time.

A car interrupted his inner ranting. Doc Clayton and Mrs. Jenkins got out of the vehicle.

“Morning, Spike.” The doctor said.

Spike didn’t answer. He nodded and tried to smile but couldn’t quite manage it.

Mrs. Jenkins reached out her thin, wrinkled hand and touched his face. “Come, Spike, we’ll talk.”

Doc Clayton asked, “Liam out in the barn?”

Spike nodded again and the older man left the porch and walked around the house to the backyard. Mrs. Jenkins took Spike’s hand and led him inside.

“Want some tea, Mrs. Jenkins?” Spike asked.

“Yes, thank you. I’d love some.”

Spike made the tea, put some biscuits in a basket and carried the tray to the table. They sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping tea. Mrs. Jenkins watched Spike as Spike watched Bella kneading a place in front of the fire. He wouldn’t look directly at the elderly woman.

“Spike,” she said finally and waited until he looked at her. “Are you upset about something? You look….”

Spike suddenly interrupted and glared at her. “Liam thinks I’m a sodding idjit. Wants me to go to school. Take tests. I’ll…I’ll fail!” He lowered his head again.

Mrs. Jenkins reached over and grabbed his hand. “Liam does not think you’re stupid, nor do I. If you want to be angry with someone, be angry at me. It was my idea, Spike.”

Spike’s head snapped up when he heard her. “Yours?”

She smiled at him but was inwardly concerned about the distress on his pale face and his stiffened posture. “Yes. I’ve been telling Liam how very smart you are, despite not having much schooling. I told him that if you were that talented without school, how much more you’d be if you had all of the advantages of a solid education.”

Spike looked down at the table and answered quietly. “Can’t go to school. Too old.”

“I taught several classes of adult learners at the college. Many did not speak English very well. Ann will teach you at home. I’m going to help. I was an English professor at the University of Vermont for 30 years. I’ve seen hundreds of students, Spike. You’re one of the very few with such a quick mind. You’re like a sponge. Do you know how long it took my students to have any understanding of Blake or Byron, Shelley or Keats? You see them with your artist’s eye. That gives you an intuitive vision into their imagery.”

Spike sighed and looked up. “Don’t know what intuitive means.”

She laughed. “Spike, if you don’t know a word, you can look it up in a dictionary. You can’t look up the meanings of poems. You have to feel what the poet feels and you do that.”

“Can’t do maths.” He insisted.

“No, and that will be the hardest for you. I can’t help you with that because math and I are not friends. I may have a PhD in English, but I barely got through the required math course.” She squeezed his slender fingers. “That’s how I met my husband. He tutored me.” She smiled at Spike when his eyes widened and continued. “No matter what the experts say, I believe people have different kinds of brains – artistic and analytical. You, Liam and I have an artistic bent. My husband and Dr. Clayton are more mathematical and scientifically-oriented. That doesn’t mean you can’t learn enough to manage your life.”

Spike was puzzled. “What’s a PhD?”

Mrs. Jenkins smiled at him. “It means that I went to school forever. Really, it means that I took courses after earning my college degree. Did Liam tell you he has a Masters of Fine Arts?”

When Spike nodded she continued. “After college, I entered a graduate program in English. I received a Masters and then a PhD, which is a doctorate.”

“You’re a doctor?” Spike asked.

Mrs. Jenkins laughed. “Not like Dr. Clayton. I’m a professor of English. My students called me Dr. Jenkins or Professor Jenkins. Here, I’m just Mrs. Jenkins. That’s what I prefer away from the academic realm.”

“I met a professor in LA. Said he was on sabbatical from the University of Vermont.” He hesitated and then went on. “That’s…that’s why I came out here. He…he was nice.”

The back door opened and Liam, the doctor and Mac hurried in, pushed by the whining cold wind. Spike got up to boil more water for tea. He looked straight at Liam and offered a tiny grin. Liam felt the tension in his shoulders relax and he smiled back. Oh, thank God. Mrs. Jenkins must have tempered Spike’s fear.

A few hours later, Spike and Liam climbed into the truck and rode over to Ann’s. Spike’s white fingers gripped his new notebook tightly. Hope I don’t fail all the tests. Wish there was a drawing test… I’d pass that okay… Shit, I’m bloody terrified!

Liam’s mind whirled as he tried to think of something to say; something encouraging. But there was still a distance between them. He wanted desperately for everything to be as it was before. He missed the funny Spike; the one who joked and mocked and breathed fresh air into his musty life.

The two men walked into the store. Jess grinned at them from behind the counter. “She’s been up since dawn, getting things ready. She’s so excited.” She led them into the apartment. Ann was sitting in her chair, a book opened on her lap. She was reaching for another book amid the clutter on the table. She heard them and turned, a dazzling smile creasing her lovely face.

“Hey, there. Come on in, Spike. Liam, do you have some errands to do?”

“Um, yeah. I do. When should I come back?”

“Two hours. Just want to just get started. Don’t want to tire you out your first visit, Spike.” She winked at her new student, who stood clutching his notebook, a look of fear flickering in his beautiful eyes. “Come, sit here.” She said as she motioned to a chair next to her.

“Okay. I’ll be back in a while.” Liam said. He nodded to Spike who returned the nod and sat down.

When Liam returned, Spike was talking to Jess and Ann out in the shop. He spun around and faced Liam. His eyes were sparkling and he was smiling. “Passed the English test.”

“Passed?” Ann said. “He scored ninety out of a hundred. He only had ten questions wrong, and his writing sample was excellent.”

“Except for spelling.” Spike interjected.

“Yes, spelling is not his strong point, but the essay was well organized and thoughtful. I’m pleased. Next time is history, then math, then science.”

Spike’s face saddened a bit. “Glad I did English first, the rest are gonna be bad.”

“Don’t worry, Spike. If they were all great, I wouldn’t have a job now would I?” Ann said grinning.

They said their good-byes and left the store.

“Want to go to the hotel to eat?” Liam asked.

“No. Feel like eating spaghetti. You have some, right?”

“Have the sauce in the refrigerator, but I need more pasta. Let’s stop at John’s.”

Liam and Spike entered the general store. John looked up. “Hey, just the guy I wanted to see.” He said as he glanced at Spike. “Still want to work a bit?”

Spike looked at Liam who nodded his head. “Okay, when?”

“Can you come in tomorrow? Getting a delivery and could use the help unloading. I’ll pay you $7.50 and hour.”

Spike’s eyes grew large. “Pay me?”

“Of course. Did you think I’d let you work without pay?” John answered, a bit surprised.

“Well, um…Nobody pays Liam.” He stammered.

Liam smiled and put his hand on Spike’s shoulder. “That’s a different situation. But when you’re a famous cartoonist, everyone on the island will want to barter with you.”

Amy spoke from the doorway of the apartment. “I know I want a drawing of yours, Spike. Mrs. Jenkins told us about the wonderful book you drew for Liam for Christmas.”

Spike blushed and asked, “What time tomorrow?”

“Doesn’t have to be real early. The truck will get here sometime around eight or nine. How about you come at ten?” John answered.

Spike nodded smiling, happy to have the chance to make some money and in a new way.

Liam and Spike wandered around the store picking up things they wanted, including a brownie mix that Liam thought they could make together. He knew Spike would at least hover near-by since it was chocolate. They drove home and while the sauce was heating and the pasta water was boiling, they whipped up the fudge brownies. Spike relaxed a bit and kept sticking his finger in the bowl to swipe some of the batter. Liam slapped his hand away, laughing. “There won’t be anything left to bake, Spike.”

Spike made a face at him and Liam burst out laughing. “What?” He demanded.

“You have chocolate on your nose!” Liam said trying to catch his breath.

Spike pretended to be sad and Liam stopped laughing and walked closer. Spike suddenly thrust out his hand and wiped a bit of the batter onto Liam’s cheek and then backed away, grinning. Liam pretended to be annoyed, but the twinkle in his eyes gave him away. Finally, they put the pan into the oven to bake. The spaghetti was ready and they put the pasta, meat sauce and bread onto the table. They ate their dinner and soon the cabin was filled with the aroma of warm chocolate. Spike had never baked anything and he was anxious that they turn out. He kept jumping up from the table to open the oven door to check on them.

Liam laughed. “Spike, if you keep opening the door, it’s gonna take them longer to bake.”

Spike looked embarrassed. “Just don’t want them to burn.”

The timer buzzed as they were doing the dishes. Spike put on the mitt and took the pan out of the oven. The brownies looked perfect.

“They have to cool for a while.” Liam told Spike. “Want to watch a movie?”

“Yeah. Can we watch that one…the one during the war…with that beautiful woman with the dreamy eyes…Ilsa?” Spike asked.

“Oh, Casablanca. That’s one of my favorites.” Liam replied.

The watched for a while and then Spike went into the kitchen and took the brownies out of the pan. He cut them in somewhat crooked shapes and put them on a plate. The two men munched on the sweets and watched the film.

“Could never be that noble. Lettin’ someone I loved go away with someone else.” Spike said as they watched Rick and Louis walk into the fog on the runway as Ilsa’s plane flew back to Europe.

“I…I don’t think I could either…unless…unless it was what was best for him…um, them.” Liam responded quietly.

When the movie ended, Liam stood up. “I’m going to soak in the tub for awhile. Think I pulled a muscle in my back when I lifted the chest up onto the table.”

“Should’ve called me, Liam. Can’t have you all crippled. You have to drive me to work tomorrow.” Spike answered grinning up at him.

Liam’s heart floated in his chest. Tonight he had caught glimpses of the mischievous Spike that he had been missing. He tossed a pillow at Spike’s head and hurried into the bathroom.

He came out of the bathroom a little while later and Spike wasn’t there. He felt his heart begin to beat frantically and then he heard the door open. Spike came in with Mac.

“Thought I’d take him out. You can’t go out in the cold after you get all warm in the bath.” Spike said.

Liam smiled, although his stomach was in knots. “Thanks. I’m going go to bed. My back is really bothering me.”

“Okay. I’m gonna shower now. May work on my drawings. I’m a little wired.” Spike replied.

Liam nodded and walked into the bedroom. He wasn’t sure if he was sad or relieved. He worried about Spike’s emotional baggage and didn’t want sex between them to have a negative impact or add any more pressure. Spike was already nervous about studying with Ann. He climbed into bed and struggled for a few minutes to find a comfortable position. He had taken one of the pills that the doctor had given him before when he had wrenched muscles in his shoulder while he tried to repair the barn door. His eyes grew heavy and sleep claimed him.

Spike walked out of the bathroom toweling his hair. He told Liam the truth. He was wired. Too many things were happening all at once: being with Liam, school, sex with Liam, those tests, working at John’s - too many choices and decisions. William, you bloody sod, you’re an adult. That means hard decisions. He took down the bottle of Bailey’s, poured a drink and walked over to the partially open bedroom door. Liam was already asleep.

He drank the Bailey’s as he paced the small cabin. His emotions were in turmoil. Part of him wanted to go in and fall asleep in Liam’s arms. Part of him was still hurt about the school thing. Another part was angry; angry at his parents for being so – irresponsible – not making him go to school; living as they did. He was angry at himself for not going to school on his own. He was good in school when he was little. When he had learned to read he constantly had a book in his hands. He’d often hide somewhere in school to read so he wouldn’t have to go home. He had skipped a grade when he was in lower school because he had surpassed the other students. But then…then I got stupid. Beer…smokes…girls…staying out all night. He hated hearing his parents scream and fight with each other. Why am I thinking about them…sodding selfish arseholes.

Spike stopped pacing and walked over to the cabinet and took out his drawing materials. He sat down at the table and Bella immediately jumped up. He grinned at her and ruffled her fur as he spread out a piece of drawing paper for her to lie on. His emotions and memories of his parents and his life on the streets had forced their way into his thoughts. Usually when he drew, he could escape his harsh thoughts. This time the images refused to leave. What he drew during that night was brutal and frightening. All of his fears and anger spilled into his pencils. Finally, at dawn, emotionally and physically spent, he fell asleep, his head resting on his sketches.

Liam woke and immediately knew that Spike had not come to bed. He lay for a while thinking, worrying and listening for any sounds. Finally he got up. His back was still sore, but not as bad as it had been. He walked out into the cabin and saw Spike asleep, his light brown head lying on his drawing paper, a shaft of pale winter light painting golden highlights in his hair. He let Mac out and put out food for Bella and the dog. Despite his quiet noises, Spike never stirred. The dog barked and he let him in and then went to shower. When he came out of the bathroom, he saw that Spike hadn’t moved. He must have stayed up really late. Liam looked at the time. It was eight o’clock. Spike didn’t have to be at John’s until ten. He’s gonna have sore muscles if he slept there all night. He dressed and then went into the kitchen to make breakfast. Spike finally raised his head when he smelled the bacon cooking. He immediately groaned and rubbed his neck.

Liam smiled at him. “Morning. Did you sleep there all night?”

“Yeah.” Spike grumbled. “Have a bloody stiff neck.”

“No wonder. Do you want your eggs fried or scrambled?”

“Whatever you want. Think I’ll get another shower. I’ll be fast.” Spike said as he walked slowly into the bathroom.

Liam bit his lip and the frown he had been hiding bloomed on his forehead. He must have stayed up for most of the night. He probably paced. He’s nervous. Is he still angry or is he just nervous? Did he…did he not want to sleep with me? You selfish oaf. He’s an emotional wreck and you’re concerned about your sex life!

Spike came out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. “Forgot to get clothes.” He mumbled as he walked quickly into the bedroom.

“Eggs are ready.” Liam answered.

They ate their breakfasts almost in silence. “You’re going to John’s this morning, right?” Liam ventured.

“Yeah.” Spike answered. “You gonna come back here while I’m there?”

“Yeah. Have to work on the chest. The intricate pattern I designed for the front is giving me a bit of trouble. We’ll ask John what time I should pick you up.”

“Okay.”

Their easy conversations of a few days ago were now gone. The phone rang and Liam answered it. It was Ann, and she asked him to stop by but not to tell Spike she called. He was concerned by her request.

Liam and Spike entered the store. The boxes had already been delivered and John was ready to show Spike what to do. “What time should I pick Spike up?” Liam asked.

“How about three o’clock? I don’t want to exhaust him on the first day.” John replied looking over at Spike. The younger man was unusually quiet and there seemed to be tension between him and Liam.

“Okay. I’ll be back.” He turned to face Spike and smiled. “I’ve got to run over to Burlington. I need a new bit for my drill so I can make those fancy cuts on that chest. I’m only going to the big building supply store, not anywhere else, Spike. I thought maybe we’d go again next weekend.”

Spike nodded but did not smile. “Okay.”

“I won’t work him too hard. Can’t damage his artist’s hands - just like yours, Liam.” John said.

John and Spike worked together for a while and then the younger man said he could manage alone. John left him to it, but wondered at his changed demeanor. Amy noticed his silence too, and when she spoke to Spike, he was polite, but very reserved.

Liam arrived at Ann’s. Jess pointed him to their apartment. He knocked, then entered when Ann called to him. Her face was drawn and she looked tired.

“What’s wrong, Ann. Are you all right?” Liam asked.

“I’m tired. My body’s not cooperating with me.” She answered. “I want to talk to you about Spike.” She motioned Liam to a chair. When he was seated, she continued. “Spike…I think…I think Spike needs to go to therapy.” She finally blurted.

Liam was stunned, sort of. He had thought Spike needed to deal with his past, his sudden fits of anger, but he didn’t know how to bring it up without hurting his feelings or making him feel more damaged and rejected.

“He’s a bright young man and truly gifted artistically, but his…Have you seen his drawings?” Ann asked.

“Some of them. I know he hasn’t shown me all of them.”

“Mrs. Jenkins and I talked for a long time. She’s seen the sketches. They are…they must be his life on the street. She didn’t want to betray Spike’s trust, but when she found out that I’d be working with him, she came over to talk. His…his past and his feelings about it may…may make it impossible for him to move on and be successful. He’s angry, Liam. It bubbles just below the surface. He’s frightened although he tries to hide it with his bravado. He needs to talk to someone, professionally.”

Liam sat quietly for a few minutes. Ann touched his arm. “Liam, I know you better now and I’m grateful to Spike for that. You are a kind man. I know you’re trying to help him, but you’re not a professional. None of us want to say the wrong thing. Psyches are fragile and Spike’s…he’s obviously been battered both physically and emotionally.”

Liam had been staring at her as she spoke, pressing his large hands onto his thighs. “Yes, we shared some of our pasts with each other at Christmas. His life was brutal.” He sighed and lowered his head. “He is quick to anger. Sometimes it feels like I’m living with Mt. Vesuvius. I’m never certain what his reaction to something will be. He’s quick to think he isn’t good enough or that he’s being rejected.”

“All the more reason to get him some help.” Ann said.

Liam lifted his head and she noticed the moisture glistening in his dark eyes. “I…I don’t know how…he’ll think something else is wrong with him. That’s what he thought when I told him about school.”

“I think Mrs. Jenkins would talk to him and Dr. Clayton will help. He may listen to them. He adores Mrs. Jenkins and he’s grateful to the doc for taking care of him when he had pneumonia.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to them. Thanks, Ann.”

“He could have a brilliant future, Liam. I believe that, but he has to deal with his emotions. I know. I went through therapy after my husband left me. Talk about rejection!” She smiled. “It took a while, but I stopped blaming myself and realized it was his weakness.”

Liam stood up and said good-bye. He waved to Jess but his heart hurt. He drove into Burlington, thinking and worrying about Spike. After he got the materials he needed at the huge hardware store, he stopped at a candy shop and bought a small bag of vanilla butter creams for his chocoholic…lover? He chastised himself for the sexual images flickering through his mind and then found the punkish clothes shop that Spike liked. He saw a black silk shirt that would look perfect against Spike’s fair skin. As he slipped the material through his fingers, he had to will down his arousal. Jesus, Liam. Stop it! Sex should be the farthest things from your mind now! But he remembered how it felt to be inside of Spike. How his loneliness had disappeared with each thrust! Furious with himself, he pushed the thoughts aside and walked away. He decided instead on a soft black cashmere sweater, since Spike was always cold and since he preferred black over every other color. He paid for the sweater and hurried to the art shop. When he had shopped at Christmas, the clerk had told him a drafting table would be helpful to an artist but he didn’t want to overwhelm him with too many presents. But he saw how Spike constantly bent over when he drew and he had seen him massaging his neck. He bought a portable table. The adjustable slant would enable him to sit upright as he sketched. Is this too much? Will he think...that I’m trying to bribe him into going to school? Liam worried all the way back to the island. Living with him is…a challenge…but… He pictured Spike on New Year’s Eve when they danced together and…and later. God…I need him in my life…I want to make his life better.

He pulled up in front of the store. Spike was standing at the counter talking to Amy when he walked inside. Spike spun around and waved an envelope, his eyes twinkling. “I made $40!”

They said goodnight to John and Amy and went out to the truck. “How about I treat you to dinner at the hotel, Liam?”

Liam knew the meal would probably cost more than forty dollars. “I’d like that, Spike. But wouldn’t you rather save it for something you want? Didn’t you say you wanted to get some special inks when we went to Burlington?”

Spike’s eyes lost some of their shine but he smiled. “Yeah, okay, I’ll save it. John wants me to work for the next two days. I’ll have enough for the inks if I work all those hours, and maybe another black t-shirt.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Then I’ll bang on you till you take me to Burlington.”

When Liam looked a bit puzzled, he grinned. “Bang on means nag to you Yanks!” He laughed and Liam’s heart filled.

They drove to the hotel. When they entered the dining room, they saw Doc Clayton and Mrs. Jenkins sitting at a table. They walked over to say hello.

“Hello. Heard you worked today, Spike.” Mrs. Jenkins said with a sweet smile.

Spike shook his head as he returned her smile. It still amazed him that everybody knew what was going on so quickly. In LA, no one paid attention to anyone else, unless of course, they wanted something.

“Yeah. Worked five hours today. Goin’ back tomorrow and the day after.” Spike replied.

“Won’t you join us for dinner?” Doc Clayton asked. “We haven’t ordered yet.”

The two men looked at each other and decided to join the two elderly people that were so important to their lives. The four friends enjoyed a wonderful dinner and the doctor kept them laughing at the antics of some of his very elderly and very crotchety patients.

Spike was exhausted by the time they got home. “Don’t know if I have the strength to take a shower.”

“How about a bath? Your muscles must be aching, working man.” Liam said grinning broadly.

Spike felt his cock twitch at the look on Liam’s face. He looks…proud!

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

“The green apple bubble bath that you like is on the top shelf.” Liam said, barely controlling his laughter.

Spike gave him a mock glare and sauntered into the bathroom, swishing his ass provocatively. When he glanced back over his shoulder at Liam, he saw that he had gotten the effect that he wanted. Liam’s face was flushed and there was a definite bulge in the front of his jeans.

He soaked in the bath for a long time enjoying the gentle waves splashing from the jets. He finally got out, wrapped a towel around his body and walked out of the bathroom. Liam was drinking tea and reading. He looked up and returned Spike’s mock glare. “Did you use all the hot water?”

“Yep, and the bubble bath!” Spike replied and walked toward the bedroom to dress, swishing his ass again.

When he came out, Liam was in the shower. He was really tired and rather disgusted. His arms hurt from all the lifting and reaching. Sodding soft you are, William. All this…good food…soft bed…not used to such bloody luxury. He chose a movie from the shelf; another one of Liam’s favorites – Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

Liam finished his shower and went into the bedroom to put on his house pants and a sweatshirt. When he returned to the living area he was carrying packages and his face was beaming. He sat down next to Spike and handed him the smallest package. “Picked this up in Burlington.”

Spike reached into the bag and pulled out one of the butter creams. He popped it into his mouth and closed his eyes. Liam watched the satisfaction creep across his face. When Spike opened his eyes, Liam was holding another bag in front of him. He took the bag and pulled out the black sweater. He ran his fingers lightly over the fabric. “It’s so soft.”

“It’s cashmere – extra soft wool. You’re always complaining that you’re cold, so I thought you could use another sweater.”

“It’s bloody cold here, Liam. Thought only Eskimos lived in weather like this. Remember… lived in sunny LA!” He grinned but Liam felt his stomach clench again as he wondered if or when Spike would decide to leave.

Liam handed Spike the final package. It was huge and Spike couldn’t imagine what it was. “This isn’t my birthday. What’s with all the presents?”

“No reason. I like buying gifts for people I care about.” Liam answered a bit defensively.

“Sorry…I…I’m just…not used to getting presents at Christmas, let alone for no reason, Liam. Spike unwrapped the package. His eyes widened. “Liam, the drafting board! It’s…it’ll fit on the table.”

Liam smiled. “You’ve been drawing a lot. Didn’t want you to get a crick in your neck. Besides, it’ll catch the light better.”

Spike stared at the man who had changed his life. “Thank you, Liam. I’m…I’ll never be able to repay...”

Liam interrupted. “Spike, this isn’t about repaying. I enjoy buying things for people…people that I care about. Besides, I expect you to shower me with gifts when you are a rich and famous artist!” He stopped suddenly when he realized what he said. Damnit, Liam. Put more pressure on him. Make him run away.

Spike heard the words and hope and fear flared in his heart. Maybe…maybe he does want me here…yeah, but you’ll fuck it up, William…that’s what you do.

Spike looked at Liam and placed his hand on the larger man’s thigh, his eyes glittering. “Thank you.” He leaned over, put his arms around Liam and kissed him softly. The floodgates of pent- up passion opened with that kiss. They pressed their bodies together and their hardened cocks rubbed against each other. Spike stopped and pulled away. He stood up and took Liam’s hand. The larger man stood and Spike led him into the bedroom. He pulled Liam’s sweatshirt off and dropped it to the floor. Although his body screamed in desire, Spike kissed Liam’s neck and down his chest, slowly. He reveled in the soft groan he heard. He pulled off his own t-shirt and they stood close together just holding onto each other.

Liam was surprised and touched by Spike’s gentle slowness. Spike drew away and looked up. His eyes blazed with emotion. He led Liam to the bed and pushed him gently until he was lying down. Spike walked around and got into bed. He draped his body across Liam’s. He sucked one nipple into his mouth as he tweaked the other. He stretched up and swirled his tongue in the shell of Liam’s ear and sucked his neck. He smiled inwardly when he felt Liam shiver. He repeated everything that Liam had done to him. Spike wanted Liam to feel desired, just as he had. He wanted to make Liam moan with need and writhe with passion. He wanted him to beg for release. He had to keep telling himself – slowly William slowly. He wasn’t used to taking his time, but he loved when Liam made love to him; tortured him with his maddingly slow touches.

Liam had tried to let Spike set the pace, but his need overwhelmed him. He slipped his hand into Spike’s sweatpants and massaged his ass. Spike groaned and ground his hard cock into Liam’s groin.

He worked his way down Liam’s body, circling his navel with his tongue. He could feel Liam’s hardness press against his bare chest. As he continued down, he grabbed the waistband of Liam’s pants, and pulled them past his hips. Liam raised his hips as the material continued to slide down his legs. Spike stood up and stared at Liam’s massive naked body for a long minute, marveling at its powerful beauty. He smiled sensuously at Liam and then took off his pants and got back on the bed. Licking his lips, he crawled provocatively towards Liam’s parted legs. He was a bit surprised that Liam was letting him have his way. He wasn’t used to that. It was usually just wham…bam…then he was fucked. He smiled nervously, hoping he didn’t screw it up. Banishing the taunting thoughts of his past, he took Liam’s cock into his mouth, gripping the base with one hand. He used everything he had learned in his previous occupation, and soon Liam was writhing on the bed, moaning and telling Spike how good that felt.

Pride welled up in Spike at how Liam was responding to him. Least I'm was good at something besides art. As he continued to suck Liam, his other hand moved to his balls and he started massaging them.

Liam reached down with his long arms, and pulled Spike up so that now he was lying along the length of his longer body. He smiled at Spike, wrapped his hand in his curls and brought his head down to meet his in a bruising kiss. Lips met and tongues swirled around each other in a frantic dance of desire. Spike moved against Liam, their cocks rubbing together.

Liam released Spike’s swollen lips. “God, I need you Spike…need to feel myself inside of you.”

He stopped, worried that his obvious need would frighten Spike, but Spike’s face glowed. He didn't say anything, just gently stroked Liam’s face and smiled; his brilliant blue eyes awash in passion. Liam reached over to the bedside table and grabbed the tube of slick and a condom. He handed both to Spike after he tore open the foil.

Spike sat up, straddling Liam’s hips when he was handed the slick and condom. He looked at Liam and grinned seductively. He laid the tube on the bed and placed the condom on the tip of Liam’s shaft, and covered it with the latex. His job done, he started to climb off Liam, but was stopped by large hands on his hips.

Spike was confused and looked again at Liam. Liam picked up the slick and handed it to Spike. “I want you to ride me, Spike.”

Spike was unsure. He’d never done that before. His johns never cared for eye-to-eye contact. He wasn’t a person to them. He was always on all fours, facing the headboard. He figured last night was a one-time thing, but Liam was adamant.

“I want to watch you; I want you to take control. I want to see your pleasure.”

“Never done this. Not sure what to do.” Spike replied nervously.

“Hold out your hand.”

When Spike did as he asked, Liam squirted some of the lube into his smaller hand, and then directed it to his erect cock. He held the base of it, making sure the condom stayed in place as Spike lubricated his shaft. Liam moaned and gripped the sheets with his other hand.

When Spike was finished, Liam took the tube from him, and squirted some of it into his own hand. “Come here, Spike.”

When Spike got close enough, Liam kissed him deeply, thrusting his tongue into his mouth. He reached around to Spike’s backside and began to prepare him. First one finger, then two, then three – making sure each time to stretch him fully. Each time he scraped a nail across the spongy mass hidden deep with Spike. Spike moaned and quivered on Liam’s long fingers.

When he was sure that Spike was stretched enough, he broke the kiss, panting. His heart was hammering inside his chest in anticipation. He gently pushed Spike into an upright position.

“Raise yourself up on your knees and sit back slowly.”

Spike did as he was told. When he sat back, he could feel the tip of Liam’s cock at his entrance. Liam placed one hand on each side of Spike’s hips, and slowly eased him onto his cock. Spike gasped and shivered. Liam groaned when the tip of his cock breached the ring of tight muscles. It took all of his control not to push Spike down hard. Inch by inch, Spike’s body took Liam in; his muscles clenching tightly around the large shaft. Liam watched Spike’s face as he entered him. He closed his eyes and moaned as he was being filled, while he held onto Liam’s wrists in a death grip.

When he was fully inside of Spike, Liam made sure to stay still, to let the smaller body get used to him. This was a much deeper penetration than last night and he could see the amazement on Spike’s face.

Liam loosened his grip on Spike hips. Spike looked at him like he didn’t know what to do. Liam smiled and directed him with his hands, up and down.

“You can go as fast or as slow as you want Spike; you are in control here.”

Spike had never been in control, but he kind of liked the idea. Taking Liam’s words to heart, he moved on his own, reveling in the feeling of power this position gave him; reveling in the sensation of being filled slowly and completely by this tender, gentle man. He controlled the speed and gave out a little yelp as Liam’s cock hit against his prostrate. As Spike moved slowly on Liam’s shaft, he felt a warm hand take a hold of his cock and stroke it with a slow steady rhythm. It wasn’t long before he felt the tightening of his balls and he came with a shout. His ejaculate spouted from his cock, and landed on Liam’s chest.

When Spike erupted his release, the muscles of his ass clenched tightly around Liam’s cock and he came, filling the condom encasing his shaft. Spike collapsed onto Liam’s chest, ignoring the stickiness of his come as skin met skin. His body trembled from the exertion and the depth of emotion.

Still embedded within Spike, Liam brought a hand up and gently stroked along Spike’s spine. As his cock softened, it slid out of Spike's still quivering hole. Moving Spike up his body, he reached around with his long arms and removed the condom and dropped it into the trash can next to the bed. He then wrapped his arms around Spike and dropped a kiss onto the top of his head. Spike nestled into the crook of his neck, still breathing hard.

Liam could hear him mumbling, but couldn’t understand what he was saying. “You okay Spike?”

“Fine…’m fine. Just feel like a bloody puddle of goo right now, but I’m fine.”

Liam chuckled as he brought up the sheet and blanket to cover their quickly cooling flesh. It wasn’t long before he heard the gentle snores of a sleeping Spike. Left alone with his rampaging thoughts, it was a while before Liam was able to escape into sleep.
 

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